swallow negative feelings....and die early

"A lot of people think fighting is a sign of an unhealthy marriage, but it can actually be a good thing. Couples who express their anger to each other live longer than those who swallow negative feelings in order to keep the peace." -- Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD

Think Turnips, Not Testosterone

Think Turnips, Not Testosterone Therapy, for Valentine's Day Loving

Posted: 02/10/2014 4:02 pm EST Updated: 02/10/2014 4:59 pm EST

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Visit your farmers' market, not your pharmacist, for a safe and satisfying Valentine's Day frolic. A major study published in PLOS ONE last week found testosterone therapy doubles the risk of heart attacks for all men over 65 and doubles or triples the risk for younger men who have a history of heart disease. But as Dr. John La Puma recommends in his New York Times op-ed piece about the study, men can improve their hormone balance by staying slim, drinking water instead of alcohol, and eating more collards, broccoli, and other cruciferous vegetables such as turnips.

At the end of the day, eating more of the right foods and fewer junk foods improves mood and energy -- which may be the only fix many men need.

Indeed. That's the premise behind my practical romance: Fifty Weeks of Green. This spoof of Fifty Shades of Grey helps readers get healthy and feel frisky with 60 plant-based recipes, such as Sweet and Tart Collard Tangle (see recipe below).

The high-flavor dishes surge with Cupid's own nutrients: glucosinolates in greens, zinc in beans, diallyl disulfides in garlic, and fiber and protein in pretty much everything. Fortunately, these recipes lack artery-clogging fat and cholesterol that slow circulation everywhere, even in your tingly bits. Using fresh, organic ingredients also avoids what La Puma calls "gender-bending chemicals like BPA."

So skip the steak house and the drugs this Valentine's Day. Consider toasting your sweetheart with sparkling cider, then sharing a big salad, roasted vegetables with hummus, some crusty bread, and this easy, make-ahead collards recipe from Fifty Weeks of Green. Top it all off with a piece of warm Cocoa-Coconut Flip Cake, also from the book. You'll be well fueled for whatever other delights come to mind.

Sweet and Tart Collard Tangle
Slice raw collard leaves thin and then massage and marinate the resulting tangle so it remains lively without being rebellious. Fruit and nuts add color, sweetness, and more protein.

Active time: 20 minutes. Total time: 20 minutes minimum, but best after marinating at least two hours. Yield: 8 servings.

12 ounces collard greens (340 grams or about 8 medium leaves)
2 tablespoons lemon juice (juice from one lemon)
1 teaspoon olive oil
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 sweet apple, perhaps a Gala or Fuji
1/4 cup walnut pieces (27 grams)
1/4 cup raisins (40 grams)

1. Cut or pull stems away from collard leaves and save stems for another use. Cut leaves into very thin strips and put into a glass, ceramic, pottery, or stainless-steel bowl -- one that will not react with lemon juice.
2. With clean and loving hands, gently squeeze and massage the collards five or six times until they relax a bit. Inhale their deep green fragrance and admire your wild collard tangle.
3. In a small bowl, mix lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Pour this dressing over the collard tangle and toss until all the green ribbons are well coated and glossy. If convenient, cover and refrigerate for two to 24 hours before finishing the recipe.
4. Core apple, slice, and cut into small pieces. Chop walnuts if needed. Toss the fruit and nuts with the collard leaves, making sure to coat the apple pieces well so they don't brown.
5. Serve chilled. Keeps without browning or losing its chewy spring for at least twelve hours.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-watson/a-fifty-weeks-of-grey-spo_b_4717741.html

5 Signs of Sexual Addiction

Sex is a healthy part of life — but for some people, it can become all-consuming. Could you be addicted to sex?

By Wyatt Myers

Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Sex is a basic part of human nature, and it’s perfectly normal — and healthy — to have a vigorous libido. But there’s a tipping point — when sexual desire can go from being healthy to out of control.

Usually, the difference between enjoying sex and being addicted to sex is apparent. “A healthy sexual appetite can be controlled. If sex is unavailable, it is disappointing but not devastating,” says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist and author of The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs. “With a sexual addiction, the addict feels desperate to have his or her sexual outlet, no matter the cost.”

How to Spot Sexual Addiction

A sexual addiction can manifest itself in many ways, so you will need to look for a variety of possible warning signs that you or your spouse or partner is a sex addict. Kathryn A. Cunningham, PhD, director of the Center for Addiction Research at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, identifies the following possibilities:

• Sex dominates an individual’s life to the exclusion of other activities.
• The individual engages in phone sex, computer sex, use of prostitutes, pornography, or exhibitionism.
• The person habitually masturbates.
• The individual has multiple sexual partners or cheats on partners.
• In extreme cases, the person engages in criminal activities, including stalking, rape, incest, or child molestation.

The Difference Between Healthy Sex and Sexual Addiction

The challenging thing about a sexual addiction is that some “obsession” with sex is healthy. We should have a libido that makes us desire sex. But it goes too far when the person cares more about the act itself than the other person involved, says Kathleen Nickerson, PhD, the founder of FeelBetterNetwork.com.

“A sexual addiction most often manifests in one of two ways: substituting sex for love and pursuing different, varied, or extreme sexual activities that are focused on the sex acts, not on any type of connection between two people,” Nickerson says.

Though the term “sexual addiction” is commonly used to describe the person’s condition, Nickerson says it’s often a sign of a deeper mental struggle. “Sexual addiction is a fine descriptor, but it is likely incomplete,” she says. “Typically, we’d need to say more about what is going on with a person that is making them seek out the excessive sexual behavior.”

When Is Sexual Addiction Counseling Necessary?

If you or you partner or spouse is a sex addict, he or she will need sexual addiction counseling. Nickerson says this is one clear-cut situation in which the assistance of a therapist, support groups, and self-help books can be very important. “If you are in a relationship and the other person’s behavior is hurting the relationship, you should discuss this and come up with an action plan for how the two of you will respond and support each other,” she says. “Ultimately, you cannot make anyone else change, but you can encourage actions that will help result in positive change.”

Being the loved one of a sex addict is especially difficult because you often become the addiction. “Setting your own boundaries and comfort limits is very hard to do with a sex partner, but you have the right to do what is best for you, so you need to risk telling them how you feel and what you need also,” says Nickerson. “Share your feelings and talk about what you are and are not willing to do. Always act in ways that make you feel comfortable, good about yourself, and safe.”

If the relationship is healthy, Nickerson says, a person will respond to the needs of his partner or spouse with a sex addiction. “So be clear about expressing what you need, how you feel, and how the addiction is impacting you.”

Dating and Erectile Dysfunction (ED)....be honest upfront

Dating and Erectile Dysfunction (ED)

By Renee Bacher

WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD

Don't let erectile dysfunction derail your dating life. Learn how to manage your ED and talk about it with a new partner.

When to Have 'The Talk'

Have it “as soon as intimacy is contemplated,” says Keith Lloyd, MD, professor of urology at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Medicine. If you don’t perform well in bed, Lloyd says, let your date know up front and tell them the medical reason why.

Certified sex therapist Jane Brown, LPC, in private practice in Birmingham, AL, suggests that patients buy a copy of the book The New Male Sexuality, by Bernie Zilbergeld, PhD. Leave it on the coffee table as a conversation kick-starter for when your potential partner comes over, she says. When he or she looks at it, that’s your cue to say, “You know, I’m having this problem, and I’ve been reading this book to see if it could help me.”

The best-case scenario: The person offers to help with the problem. The worst-case scenario? They don’t. And you move on.

“If your date is not going to be sensitive to these issues, do you really want to continue with that person?” Brown asks.

Conquer Performance Anxiety

When you have ED, sometimes you can obsess about having an erection and lose sight of the big picture. Plus, ED problems can come and go, which can make you even more anxious.

“Once you’ve got a psychological overlay of wondering if you’re going to have a problem performing,” Brown says, “you’re almost guaranteed that you’re not going to get an erection. Even if your medical condition is under control, the psychological can override it.” 

Brown says that among her patients whose ED is caused by psychological factors, 90% improve when they take the focus off their erection and put it on pleasuring their partner.

“Getting them to believe that this works, however, is monumental,” she says. “But once they do, they forget about their penis and suddenly find themselves with an erection.”

Brown suggests that in addition to giving oral sex, couples simply explore each other’s erogenous zones, including the ears, neck, under the arms, and the nipples.

“I ask them to find out what they and their partner like. You and your partner are not mind-readers, nor should you have to be,” she says.

Meds and Timing

Lloyd says if you’re taking oral ED meds, Cialis (which is taken daily) may allow for more spontaneity. “Also, its long duration of action makes it a good choice for men who are dating,” he says. “However, Viagra and Levitra can be used discreetly, taken an hour or two before planned activity.”

Using products and injections to cause erections might be more of a challenge. The medicated urethral system for erections (MUSE), a small pellet inserted in the penis, can cause mild vaginal itching and burning in female partners. Be sure to let yours know if you're planning to use it, Lloyd says.

If oral treatments don't work, Lloyd says penile injections may be the next easiest solution. For patients with significant ED, who are dating, a penile implant is probably best, he says. 

It Isn't Personal

If you have trouble getting or keeping an erection with a date, assure her that you're attracted.

“Let her know it’s not her and you want this to happen,” Brown says.

Things That Can Deflate Your Erection

Depression

The brain is an often-overlooked erogenous zone. Sexual excitement starts in your head and works its way down. Depression can dampen your desire and can lead to erectile dysfunction. Ironically, many of the drugs used to treat depression can also suppress your sex drive and make it harder to get an erection, and they can cause a delay in your orgasm.

Alcohol

Medications

The contents of your medicine cabinet could affect your performance in the bedroom. A long list of common drugs can cause ED, including certain blood pressure drugs, pain medications, and antidepressants. Street drugs like amphetamines, cocaine, and marijuana can cause sexual problems in men, too.

Stress

It's not easy to get in the mood when you're overwhelmed by responsibilities at work and home. Stress can take its toll on many different parts of your body, including your penis. Deal with stress by making lifestyle changes that promote well-being and relaxation, such as exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and seeking professional help when appropriate.

Anger

Anger can make the blood rush to your face, but not to the one place you need it when you want to have sex. It's not easy to feel romantic when you're raging, whether your anger is directed at your partner or not. Unexpressed anger or improperly expressed anger can contribute to performance problems in the bedroom.

Anxiety

Worrying that you won't be able to perform in bed can make it harder for you to do just that. Anxiety from other parts of your life can also spill over into the bedroom. All that worry can make you fear and avoid intimacy, which can spiral into a vicious cycle that puts a big strain on your sex life -- and relationship.

Middle-Aged Spread

Carrying extra pounds can impact your sexual performance, and not just by lowering your self-esteem. Obese men have lower levels of the male hormone testosterone, which is important for sexual desire and producing an erection. Being overweight is also linked to high blood pressure and hardening of the arteries, which can reduce blood flow to the penis.

Self-Image

When you don't like what you see in the mirror, it's easy to assume your partner isn't going to like the view, either. A negative self-image can make you worry not only about how you look, but also how well you're going to perform in bed. That performance anxiety can make you too anxious to even attempt sex.

Low Libido

Low libido isn't the same as erectile dysfunction, but a lot of the same factors that stifle an erection can also dampen your interest in sex. Low self-esteem, stress, anxiety, and certain medications can all reduce your sex drive. When all those worries are tied up with making love, your interest in sex can take a nosedive.

Your Health

Many different health conditions can affect the nerves, muscles, or blood flow that is needed to have an erection. Diabetes, high blood pressure, hardening of the arteries, spinal cord injuries, and multiple sclerosis can contribute to ED. Surgery to treat prostate or bladder problems can also affect the nerves and blood vessels that control an erection.

Low T: E

Can You reverse your poor condition?

WebMD Feature

By Eric Metcalf, MPH

Reviewed By Brunilda Nazario, MD

If you're looking for ways to boost your testosterone level, start by looking at your daily habits. "I never prescribe testosterone alone without talking to men about their lifestyle," says Martin Miner, MD, co-director of the Men's Health Center at the Miriam Hospital in Providence, R.I.

Some changes that are good for your overall health could also provide benefits in helping to maintain a healthy level of this important male hormone.

1. Get Enough Sleep.

George Yu, MD, a urology professor at the George Washington University Medical Center in Washington, D.C., says that, for many men with low testosterone, poor sleep is the most important factor. A lack of sleep affects a variety of hormones and chemicals in your body. This, in turn, can have a harmful impact on your testosterone.

Make sleep a priority, aiming for 7 to 8 hours per night, even if it means rearranging your schedule or dropping your habit of late-night TV. Prize your sleep, just like you'd prize a healthy diet and active lifestyle. It's that important. 

If you're having problems getting good sleep on a regular basis, talk to your doctor.

2. Keep a Healthy Weight.

Men who are overweight or obese often have low testosterone levels, says Alvin M. Matsumoto, MD, of the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle.

For those men, losing the extra weight can help bring testosterone back up, he says. Likewise, for men who are underweight, getting your weight up to a healthy level can also have a positive effect on the hormone.

3. Stay Active.

Testosterone adapts to your body's needs, Yu says. If you spend most of your time lying on the couch, your brain gets the message that you don't need as much to bolster your muscles and bones.

But, he says, when you're physically active, your brain sends out the signal for more of the hormone.

If you're getting little exercise now, Miner suggests starting by:

• Walking briskly at least 10 to 20 minutes a day.
• Building strength with several sessions of weights or elastic bands each week. Work with a trainer to learn proper form so you don't injure yourself.

Don't go overboard. Extreme amounts of endurance exercise -- working out at the level of elite athletes -- can lower your testosterone.

4. Take Control of Your Stress.

If you're under constant stress, your body will churn out a steady stream of the stress hormone cortisol. When it does, it will be less able to create testosterone. So, controlling your stress is important for keeping up your testosterone, Miner says.

Miner's advice to the over-stressed men he sees in his office is to:

• Cut back on long work hours. If you're logging lots of overtime, try to whittle your workday down to 10 hours or less.
• Spend 2 hours a day on activities you like that aren't work- or exercise-related, such as reading or playing music.

SEX PAST THE 40’s

SEX PAST THE 40’s

Among the common misconceptions around sex- especially in India- is that it is a pointless exercise after 40. That it is pointless is wrong, but it sure is a great way to exercise. For a lot of people, after 40 is when they have the time and the freedom of not looking after the kids, elders and job stresses. You are mostly settled and have a little more time for your spouse. So if anything, it's the best time to spice things up and go for it. While the fervour and the excitement will not be on the level it was in your 20's, the intimacy, love and sensuality should make up for it. Knowledge and understanding play a big part in maintaining a healthy sex life past the forties.

 

Here are a few ways you can keep the magic alive:

 

Keep the excitement levels up in more ways than one. Dopamine plays a vital role in sexual inspiration. With age and stability, the predictability of the relationship may get a little stale. Try to keep the dopamine flowing by indulging in something adventurous like vacations, gliding, rafting or even amusement park rides.

Common sense dictates that libido will decrease by the time you reach your forties.  Perimenopause (the stage before menopause) can begin as early as 35. If you are concerned about your hormone levels, have your doctor test for both estrogen and testosterone levels. Symptoms like sleep disturbances, vaginal dryness and even hot flashes occur in women past the forties. Men may suffer from very low libido and erectile dysfunction. So it is not the worst idea to keep your medicine cabinet stocked with right medications. Viagra, vitamin E, a water or silicone based cream for dryness and estrogen tablets are among the most commonly used medications.

Exercising is great not only to keep the fitness levels up but also for sex. Yoga and meditation keep the body and mind relaxed and stress free while working on firming up loose muscles. As we have said in our previous issue, kegel exercises are a boon for the sex life past the forties. They help in keeping your pelvic floor strong and they can also help to prevent bladder control issues. Best of all, regular Kegels can help you enjoy longer, stronger orgasms.

Sex aids are often looked down upon and are very hard to find in India but they help in a big way to keep the spark alive past the 40's and can be easily ordered online. Using warming lubrication or a clitoral stimulator can speed up your sexual response and make sex more comfortable and exciting. Plus, just the added excitement of using them will enhance your sex life for the future.

Put the relationship before kids. Parents do find this hard to do and dote over their kids to a point where the relationship takes a back seat. A lot of couples devote all of their emotional energy, time and resources to their children and end up having nothing left for their spouse. If you are among the majority, change this. This does not mean you shouldn't love your kids any less — it just means that you need date nights, vacations without the kids, and more time spent with your spouse alone.

Be open. At this point in your married life, you should be comfortable to ask your spouse what they like in bed and explain to them what works for you. Communication is of vital importance, not only in the bedroom but also for everything in a relationship. Don't sit back and expect your partner to make the first move. It’s your sex life, and there is nothing wrong with being proactive and communicative about it.

You need to have sex at least once a week. It will help keep the love and intimacy at a much higher level. Plan out a night every week- keeping each other’s schedules in mind- for just the two of you. And make sure you do not cancel it unless it's really important. Your laundry and cleaning the closet can wait for another day but your relationship should not have too.

 

So there you go. Some extremely simple yet highly effective ways to keep the proverbial spark alive. Age should never come in the way of your sexual relationship. After all, it is just a number. Sex doesn't come with an expiry date. Just keep at it and it will always be as fresh as ever.

ANDROLOGY.......an fast upcoming medical field for males

ANDROLOGY

Andrology is the medical subject that deals with health of male, particularly relating to the problems of the male reproductive system and urologist problems that are unique to men. Andrology also includes the diagnosis of male infertility, therapeutic techniques to improve fertility, embryology services such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) and embryo cryopreservation, consultation services, research into infertility, gamete and embryo banking and patient and health care provider education. In more than 90% of cases, male reproductive disorders have an organic (bodily) cause which can be diagnosed and treated successfully - sometimes with medication, at other times with external devices or with surgery. Men are more susceptible to heart disease than women, and tend to have a slightly shorter natural average life span. However, men are more resistant to many conditions that adversely affect women, such as osteoporosis.

Tremendous progress in basic and clinical research over the past few years has led to a great improvement in our understanding of male reproductive function. Andrology, the branch of medicine that deals exclusively with disorders of the male reproductive system, is the outcome of this research. It is the counterpart to gynecology, which deals with medical issues which are specific to women. Thus, Andrology is to the male what gynecology is to the female.

When faced with infertility, most couples will begin evaluation and therapy with either their gynecologist, a reproductive endocrinologist (female infertility specialist), or an urologist. TheAndrology lab is available to physicians as a reference laboratory to evaluate and assist in the treatment of the couple. Most andrological disorders are seldom discussed socially for reasons of shyness, guilt or embarrassment. The true magnitude of these problems is therefore not known to many.

In general, causes of infertility in men can be explained by deficiencies in ejaculate volume, sperm concentration or too few sperm (oligospermia), complete absence of sperm in the ejaculate (azoospermia), sperm motility (asthenospermia), or sperm morphology (terato- spermia). Nearly 70% of conditions causing infertility in men can be diagnosed by history, physical examination, testicular volume estimation, and hormonal and semen analysis. A rational approach is necessary to perform the appropriate work-up and to choose the best treatment options for the couple. It especially affects diabetics (more than 50% of whom are impotent), hypertension, smokers, alcoholics, patients with liver, kidney and heart disease, men who are on medication for unrelated disorders such as hypertension, peptic ulcer or depression (more than 250 drugs are known to cause impotence) etc.

Injuries to the pelvis and genital regions and many operations in that area performed for other unrelated disorders can also cause impotence by damaging the delicate arteries, veins and nerves to the penis. Some of the common andrological disorders includes impotence, infertility, Ejaculatory disturbances, Sperm conducting system defects, Venereal disease in males, Groin swelling (including hernias), Penile torsion etc. Most of these are completely curable with modern andrological methods. Modern Andrology has revolutionized the treatment of male reproductive disorders. An entirely new set of investigative modalities has made diagnosis not only much simpler but more accurate and comprehensive.