Forgiveness/ Kshamavani - A Real Stress Buster....so I too seek forgiveness

Today on Ekadashi Jains will say Michami Dukkdam to all even enemies, those distant, those who have broken relations. Here is why:

 

Sangharsh of thoughts: Should I or should I not forgive & seek pardon.


Subject: Forgiveness/ Kshamavani - A Real Stress Buster


The most humorous thing about forgiveness is that when people forgive someone,
they think they are doing him a favor. Wake up. It's you that is receiving the
biggest favor. Let me explain: Do you know science has already proven that
harbored resentments, hate, hurt, guilt, etc., cause a depletion in your own
system, often leading to disease and self-anguish. It would frighten people to
know how much their pent-up angers and resentments, guilt are depleting their
systems, causing them the lack of peace they blame others for creating. If you
want peace, fun and zest for living, you have to learn to maintain your mental
and emotional nature the same as a doctor helps to maintain your physical. There
are many tools for doing that but forgiveness is the only tool available always
& free.


For those non-Jains, let's not perceive forgiveness & or begging a pardon as
something just religious or spiritual. Look at it in a business sense - smart
business. In an act of forgiveness it's you that especially come out good
because you release that disease-producing energy from your system. These
energies produce hormones that toxify your mental, emotional and physical
system. Forgiveness is just a process of re-balancing your internal energy
distortions to recreate a harmonious flow between yourself and others. The trick
is you have to forgive from the "heart". A common mistake is when people try to
forgive from the "head", then find that the same resentments keep popping up
over and over again. People think they have forgiven others and realize later
that they resent even more. It doesn't mean that you are bad when this happens,
it's just a matter of learning more about your system and, especially, the
difference between the heart and the head. The heart forgives; the head makes
empty promises that do not reach completion. Completion is seriously important
because if you leave a crack in the door, negative thoughts and emotions can
blow it off the hinges. Heart intelligence clearly helps you to understand that
forgiveness and seeking pardon are especially for your own mental and emotional
maintenance.


One would persue anything for own benefit. I'm not implying that forgiveness
doesn't benefit the other person but you are the primary beneficiary when you
forgive someone. And if you realize this then you will have more incentive to
complete the act of forgiveness at the heart level & this will benefit the other
person too as it causes relief in other person too who is most often your own
near & dear one. Then, everyone wins! It's okay to forgive someone for
self-benefits because you have to love and respect your own energies before you
are truly effective in facilitating someone else's needs. The prime message is
that forgiveness is not some little churchy act you put on to do someone else a
favor. It's both parties that receive an increase in their energy bank account.


Forgiving and forgetting the old hurts and hate & guilt from your system is like
taking a mental and emotional Ganga bath. You bath regularly your body but
forget to bath soul/conscience & store negative toxic junk in your mental and
emotional psyche for years without a clean up. Trust me, it taxes your system.
It's really the mental and emotional bath you need daily. That's where your
happiness and quality of life are registered.


Yet another humorous situation is that while you are still poisoning your own
system & doing damage to yourself the people you hate or resent don't even know
about it. It's especially you that you are punishing. Again, I'm not talking
religion, I am not talking Jainism I'm talking business - the business of your
own self-health - "streetsense!" It's about preventative maintenance that can
keep the doctor bills down and keep your happiness and fun up. Be careful of
falling in the trap of justified hate because it's really you that's taking the
lashing. If it sounds like I'm overly intent on this one point, it may be you
that needs to hear it one more time so that you might just hear it for the first
time.

Once you really hear it from the heart, here is how you can do yourself a favor,
a big one: List all the people, organizations, issues or anything you hold hate
and resentments against. Then make a serious effort from the heart to release
those negative frequencies from your system and replace it with heart
intelligence. Heart intelligence would ask you, why drain your life and junk up
your system just because someone else is out to phase out his own life? It may
be hard for you to put out love for someone who has offended you but you can
sure "smarten up" and at least release yourself from the negative feedback loop
created when resenting others and yourself. Forgiveness is a featured aspect of
self-management, yet self-management is not featured in most people's day-to-day
agenda. I'm well aware that some situations are deeply rooted with hurt and pain
caused by others. Still for the sake of your own health and the people around
you, it's worth going deeper in the heart and finally releasing that negative
junk. I know this would sound disgusting but there is no more choice. Of course
in some cases you can create an environment & sit down & tell the other person
that you justifiably feel hurt & that he should desist in mutual benefit from
repeating the mistake. However the trick is not to expect him to change but
definitely give him one fair chance to improve by pardoning once. If this
content sparks any "make-sense" within you and you decide to consider forgiving
more and suffering less, then do it from the heart! The heart is where you will
tap the power of care. It's the care that is missing in people's efforts of good
intentions. Care is love in different degrees and potencies. Turn on the shower
in your heart and rain love. Send heart and love energy into the world if you
really want to play an effective part in cleaning up the planetary stress-mess.


Last but not least don't forget self-forgiveness as self-punishment defies
intelligence and especially common sense. Your heart truth would know that
self-punishment can cause more harm to you than the wrong you did. Forget
self-punishment, pick up the pieces, forgive yourself and move on from there.
However very critical point to be noted hear is that you should not repeat such
serious mistakes which caused you feel so much guilty otherwise there is no use
of forgiveness.


Self-forgiveness followed by strict self restraint, discipline, caution,
vigilance brings your mental and emotional energy systems back into balance or
else either you fall sick with guilt biting you from within every minute of the
day or you become shameless hardcore criminal / offender doing the same
offending act again & again. Do yourself favor folks, ease up on yourself. If
you have something eating on you inside, then talk it out, work it out, release
it & improve & change yourself. Just get it out because it's like an energy
vampire guaranteed to drain daily a percentage of your life's enjoyment
potentials.


Forgiveness has been around for quite awhile & some have been practicing too.
However, you can know it in your "head" for years but the knowledge doesn't turn
into wisdom until you have heard and applied it from the heart. Play with it for
awhile and you can secretly realize that much of the stress you have been
experiencing could have easily been avoided. It was just a matter of listening
to and following what you already know. It's actually fun to start experiencing
the power of your own self-management that leads to self-empowerment as you are
then more refined, more alive, more spotless, more attuned & great listener of
your heart. The true kshmavani can brighten up your life even more than a smile.
Why? Because many times smiles are used to cover up what's not cleaned up.


So go ahead, all out give up what suffocates you & your life & forgive & forget
self & others. Have fun with it.


So here, I offer hardik kshama( Pardon) to all & expect the same from you the lion
hearted,


Compiled by Alok Tholiya

N.B.: Person repeating mistake consciously does not deserve any forgiveness &
should be dealt with suitably.

 

'Life is But how to dance in the rain.' .......

PL READ TILL THE LAST

Rain

It was a busy
morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman, probably in his 80s, arrived to have
stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an
appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital
signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone
would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I
was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was
well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to
remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of
his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as
he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to
the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there
for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was,

that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every
morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said,

'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back
tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,

'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an
acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes
and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an
important message.. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;

they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
But how to dance in the rain.'
 

Every one is getting Older

make  the  best  of  your  LIFE.

Advisory for those staying during Marriage ...similar guideliens be issued in time...

 

Advisory:

Those having mobile nos of India not to change the mobile nos.just for saving on Roaming. NRI's pl. give local contact nos by email/ SMS  to all. Let us avoid communication gap.

Do not forget to bring mobile charger.

Hotel will give all routine itmes like nepkin, towel, soap,blankets,mirror,shoe shine,Ironing, tea cofee machine,safe deposit locker in each room etc.

BUT:
Remember our hotel is in remote place. Pl. pack ur daily/ frequent medicines if any,pl. bring along all personal items kit ( like paste,brush,comb,shaving kit, make up kit etc.).

For 5 KM there is no shop.Jaipur city is 15 KM away.Hence this request.As we will not get anything easily if you forget something.There is no bus,taxi/auto facility available near hotel.

Pl. do not ask for transport for personal work etc.. We will have same only for pick up/ drop if informed to us well in advance.
We are not making any arrangement for travel to citi,sight seeing etc..

Tea/cofee/milk/water is available 24 hrs.

Shoe polish machines r in all rooms.

Iron wala/ istri wala is available on 12th and 13th only.

Note we have many doctors in our guests.Contact Aditi Jain / Dr Prakash jain ( 9811262381 ) in case of emergency.

Everyone should keep hotel address and important tel nos. saved in mobile. U may need them. Always keep road map to Hotel with you.

There is a separate arrangemnet for driver/ staff breakfast, lunch and dinner and stay.Pl. do not bring them in our main dining halls.

V. Imp.: Person lighting the lamp is great then Person cursing the darkness.
There will be many lapses and at that time instead of highlighting them , shield them or quitely improve them.We have no expirience or large team limited resources.U r our dear well wisher pl. cooperate.

 

 

 

 

 

Circular for Guests at Hotel Jaipur greens:

V. Imp.: Person lighting the lamp is great then Person cursing the darkness.
There will be many lapses and at that time instead of highlighting them , shield them or quitely improve them.We have no expirience or large team and have limited resources.U r our dear well wisher pl. cooperate.

Do's :
Pl. be ready in time to participate in all functions
Contact following persons only for any assistance:
Hotel housekeeping thru intercom
OR Mr Rajnish ( Hotel Help Desk) : 09828106634

Locker, Shoe shine machine,fruits and cookies are kept in all rooms.
strict jain food  and Biyaloo has been arranged.
Pool/ health club is complimentary.Use freely.
Tea/ cofee/ Milk/Water is available round the clock. There is also Tea/ cofee maker in each room.
Check out is stictly at 11 noon on 14th.Pl. check room thoroughly before leaving.Handover room keys to Hotel Help desk.
There r doctors in our guests.In case of health emergency contact them or Ms. Aditi Jain:
There is a separate arrangemnet for driver/ staff breakfast, lunch and dinner.Pl. do not bring them in our main dining halls.
Set wake up alarm in ur mobile. No one will contact u in rooms to wake u up.We r there for marriage and lets do the necessary.

Dont's:
Pl. dont place order for any item, directly.
Do not change any agenda, instruction directly unless u r the incharge of same work.
Taxi / car are strictly for pick up/ drop/ marriage work only. Pl. dont ask for same for personal visits/ work.
Contact Radio Cab for personal work/ visits.
 

Advisory 2: Take serious note of these tips during marriage preparartions

 

Advisory 2:

Pl. note that if u r leaving ur house locked then shud be secured / insured.

Travel only with artificial ornaments. If u r carrying costly things then take insurance.

Pl.note that no one shud know that u r travelling to attend a marriage party. Every thief knows that if some one is traveling to attend a marriage party means he/ she is carrying costly clothes, jewelery etc.
 
In train / bus no one shud know that u r traveling for a marriage. tell u r going for yatra.Avoid discussion about marriage which can be heard by unknown.

Carry crediit card, debit card, ATM card. Do not carry cash more then few hundred for journey. U do not need any money in hotel.

If u r proceeding on tour after marriage then withdraw money when u need.
Warn ur housekeeping service to not to enter room in ur absence. call for housekeeping in ur presence.

Most rooms in Hotel Jaipur Greens have safes/ tijori/ locker. Make full use of same.Dont keep precious items out of safe in a hurry.

Do not carry passport etc. But keep one photo id card which is required everywhere. Specially train passengers of e-tkt will be required to show photo id card.
 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.),
tholiya@yahoo.com
M: 9324225699/ 9819733057

 

 

Signs of Infidelity - 26 Clues to Cheating Spouses

Signs of Infidelity - 26 Clues to Cheating Spouses A cheating spouse or significant other will tend to exhibit some of the signs of infidelity listed below. If you are suspicious of a loved one, go through our signs of infidelity checklist. Does your mate shows any signs of unavailability at work, increased time away from home or unusual cell phone usage, or other signs of infidelity? If more than a few of the indicators below are present, the next step is to conduct surveillance to confirm your suspicions. At GDL we deliver quality investigation backed-up by a 46 -year track record. By contacting us, you will be able to obtain piece of mind. Domestic - At Home Sudden increase in time away from home Decreased sexual interest Subject is often distracted and day dreaming Subject is often unavailable at work Subject attends more work functions alone Cell phone calls are not returned in timely fashion Subject leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone Subject uses computer alone and secretly Subject asks about your schedule more often than usual Mileage on car is high when only short distance errands are run Clothes contain makeup or lipstick smudges Records Credit card bills contain unusual gifts, travel, restaurant and "unspecified" charges Unexplained payments on bank statements Subject has more cash on hand without accountability Cell phone bills contain calls with long duration Home phone and calling card records contain calls with long duration Business phone records contain unusual calls Subject has unexplained receipts or personal effects in wallet Technical Subject has suspicious phone voice-mail messages Subject has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed Subject has suspicious text messages Subject deletes text messages immediately Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites Frequent visits to Internet free e-mail accounts Uncommon e-mail messages Uncommon deleted e-mail messages Top   Divorce In India The Law All major religions have their own laws which govern divorces within their own community, and separate regulations exist regarding divorce in interfaith marriages. Hindus, including Buddhists, Sikhs and Jains, are governed by the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955; Christians by the Indian Divorce Act, 1869; Parsis by the Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act, 1936; and Muslims by the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939, which provides the grounds on which women can obtain a divorce, and the uncodified civil law. Civil marriages and inter-community marriages and divorces are governed by the Special Marriage Act, 1956 .Other community specific legislation includes the Native Converts' Marriage Dissolution Act, 1866 that allows a Hindu to appeal for a divorce if a spouse converts to Christianity. Grounds for Divorce In most Western nations, there are approximately 16 distinct reasons for which divorces are granted. In India, however, only five main reasons are generally accepted as sufficient grounds for divorce. Adultery. While no formal definition of adultery exists, it does have "a fairly established meaning in matrimonial law", namely "the voluntary sexual intercourse of a married man or woman with a person other than the offender's wife or husband". While the law considers it valid grounds for either sex, adulterous women are "judged more harshly" than men. The various religious regulations are not unanimous on this issue. The law regarding Hindus allows divorce to be granted on the grounds of infidelity of either husband or wife. The Christian law, however, would traditionally not have granted a divorce to a woman solely on the grounds of adultery. She would have had to prove another violation, such as cruelty .A recent Bombay High Court decision "recognised cruelty and desertion as independent grounds for the dissolution of a Christian marriage," striking down a section of the law that allowed for an unconstitutional distinction between the sexes. Desertion. The three main components of desertion are the "disruption of cohabitation, absence of just or reasonable cause and their combination throughout three years" before the abandoned spouse may petition for a divorce. There also must be an obvious intent on the part of the offending spouse to remain permanently apart from the other. This statute also applies to cases in which a spouse has been heard from for at least seven years . Cruelty. As with adultery, "the definition of the type of behavior that constitutes cruelty varies according to the gender of the petitioner" of the divorce. "Despite the fact that cruelty is often equally available to husbands and wives, the way in which the law is interpreted and applied suggests that women and men are evaluated by rather different standards" .This category includes both physical and mental abuse and neglect. A court decision made in early May 1997 made cruelty sufficient grounds for a Christian woman to obtain a; previously, the law required both adultery and cruelty to be proven. The national Indian Christian community seems to have embraced this judgment. Impotency. This refers to the physical inability of the couple to consummate the marriage or the refusal by one spouse to do so. Some cases have established that sterility can be construed to mean non-consummation if the other partner is not aware of the condition before the marriage. Chronic Disease. Both mental and physical illnesses are included in this category, as well as sexually transmitted diseases. Not all religions recognize identical diseases as grounds for divorce. Christians and Parsis do not allow divorce for a sexually transmitted disease or leprosy while the other communities do. Divorce under Muslim law Muslims are governed by their personal laws under which "Nikah" (i.e. marriage) is a contract and may be permanent or temporary and permits a man 4 wives if he treats all of them equally. To have a valid "Nikah" under the Muslim Law, presence of a Qazi (Priest) is not necessary. Merely a proposal in the presence and hearing of two sane males or one sane male and two sane female adults, all Muslims and acceptance of the said proposals at the same time constitute a valid Nikah under the Muslim Personal Law. A husband can divorce his wife without any reasons merely by pronouncing thrice the word "Talak". However for a Muslim woman to obtain divorce certain conditions are necessary. Top   Detectives Agencies In India If you just go a decade back, a common man hardly knew about the detective agency. Mostly, influential people and corporate houses used to avail such services. At the same time, there were handful of detective agencies in India. The scenario changed with globalisation and emergence of internet & news channels. Today, detective agency has reached even to a common man. Many people (especially security agencies) saw detective agency has a lucrative business and started operating detective agency with no prior experience and infrastructure. If you search the internet you would find dozens of detective agencies. With the growing number of detective agencies, it becomes difficult for a first timer to choose a detective agency which can solve his problem and not just giving expensive false promises. In order to help you, we have formulated a guideline which would help to differentiate a professional detective agency from money munchers: Guideline Check the number of years the detective agency is in existence Check the number of branches and employee strength Check the profesionalism with which the entire operaton is conducted right from booking the case to reporting Agency with credibility in the market Top   Preventing Credit Card Frauds By taking certain precautions, a user can prevent their credit or debit card from being misused both online and offline. Do not provide photocopies of both the sides of  the credit card to anyone. The card verification value (CVV) which is required for online transactions is printed on the reverse of the card. Anyone can use the card for online purchases if the information is available with them. Do not click on links in email seeking details of  your account, they could be phishing emails from fraudsters. Most reputed companies will ask you to visit their website directly. While using a credit card for making payments online, check if the website is secure The CVV will also be required. Do not give any information to persons seeking credit card information over phone Notify your bank / credit card issuer if  you do not receive the monthly credit card statement on time. If a credit card is misplaced or lost, get it cancelled immediately Courtesy : Cyber Crime Cell Mumbai Top   Men better at sniffing out infidelity LONDON: Men are better at detecting infidelity than women but females appear to be much better at concealing it, a fascinating study has suggested. The study, published in the journal Human Nature, found that men are better at unearthing infidelity than women but tend to suspect their female partners even when they are faithful. When scientists interviewed 203 heterosexual couples about their infidelities, they found that women made correct inferences about their partner's infidelity about 80% of the time but men scored significantly higher 94%. "Women are probably more reticent in disclosing information. They appear to be so much better at concealing their infidelity whereas men are better at detecting infidelity, based on this evidence," said Paul Andrews of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Even as men were more likely to detect infidelity, males were more likely to have cheated on their wives or girlfriends, with 29% admitting to at least one affair compared to 18.5% of the women. "We also developed a statistical method for estimating the amount of under-reporting of infidelity. We found that men tended to be honest about their affairs whereas women tended to under-report infidelities by about 10%," lead researcher Andrews was quoted as saying by the Independent. According to the report in the British daily, men honed by evolution to be wary of infidelity in their female partners are more motivated to seek out information to resolve suspicions. Top   Seven ways to sniff out Infidelity! Not sure if your partner is true to you? Well, then here are a few signs that may help sniff out whether he/she is lying or not. Here are seven ways to identify a liar, reports FoxNews. Consider the person's recall: Liars never forget what they have to say but they may stumble when telling a tale by making contradicting statements. They're also eager to change the subject. Observe the person's overall body language: Liars can look ill at ease, fiddling with their hair, stroking their throat, or rubbing their eyes. With their body often turned away from you, you may notice hand or leg fidgeting. Liars also have trouble swallowing and may shake their heads after a point has been made. When the subject finally gets changed, they appear happier and more comfortable, maybe laughing nervously. Take notice of any defensiveness: Liars will often take offence to any indication that they're under suspicion. They're likely to throw any accusations you throw at them back at you. They will also talk too much, feeling the need to over-explain themselves. Home in on facial expressions: Liars fail to control their micro-expressions. While fibbing, you may notice nervous twitching. Their hand may be covering or touching their face. People also tend to touch the mouth when feeling guilty or anxious. They're particularly good with fake smiles. Don't overlook the Pinocchio reaction: When a human tells a lie, extra blood gets pumped through the body and the nose swells by a fraction of millimeter. Liars may subsequently touch the tip of their nose unconsciously. Concentrate on the eyes: A liar has a troubled brow and downcast or darting eyes. They have trouble directly engaging your gaze. They also give you eye-accessing clues. If the person is telling you the truth, he'll look up and to the left since that's the side of the brain we use for recalling information. If she's lying, she'll look up and to the right, which is the creative side of the brain, because she's mentally constructing something that hasn't happened. Note the person's voice: The higher the stakes are, the more the liar has a fear of getting caught. With this, the liar has a harder time controlling his body language or her voice. The pitch or rate of the speech may change, with the individual giving a lot of "umms" and "ahhs." Often, a liar will appear stilted and monotone. Answers may seem rehearsed. Top   Should a woman confront her husband if she suspects he is cheating or wait until she has definitive evidence? Rather than 'Confront' I'd recomend using the word converse. To confront him means that he is already guilty and the conversation will be one sided. He will get backed into a corner, with little room to escape. If the shoe was on the other foot, Is this how you would want him to deal with you? You don't win by putting people down, you win by being able to resolve an issue of the past. That's how you can move forward. You cannot change history, why would you want to constantly have to deal with it? Would you charge a criminal without sufficient evidence to obtain a conviction and rely on their integrity to be forthcoming with the truth when challenged on the suspicion of having committed an offence? Obtain the EVIDENCE you need to satisfy yourself of infidelity -- and save yourself listening to endless excuses, lies and denials Top   Pre employment Screening, are we following it "rigorously"? The biggest asset a company may have is the " Human Resource". While hiring these resources we have found a growing level of major discrepancies and embellishments on CVs. The candidates are getting innovative while covering up the break in their career. They follow these practices to make their CV look more attractive & remarkable but they don't realize the Consequences of what would happen to their career once they are trapped during Pre – Employment Screening. At Times the erroneous information provided is harmless – for instance they might mention some recreational hobbies such as football or cricket to demonstrate their ability to be a "Team Player", but there can also be serious misrepresentation crossing legal or ethical boundaries. For instance - increase in compensation, stating higher designations, fake employment, creating of job responsibilities & false qualifications, etc. The boom in the IT industry has led to the rise in employment hence people tend to fake information which includes educational qualification, so that they can get a good offer from a better Company. It has been found that the percentage of candidates misrepresenting facts on their CV's has increased rapidly. The Extent of such fake information ranges from 20 – 25% in most of the cases. As the candidates are becoming more deceitful in their CV's & job applications, companies should become more "rigorous" in checking the facts. Today there are many organizations specializing in Pre – Employment Screening of employees one of them is GDL INTERNATIONAL DETECTIVES Pre-employment screening helps in verifying the accuracy of an applicant's claims as well as to discover any possible criminal history, workers compensation claims, or employer sanctions. Employment screening can be a practical and significantly reduces employee theft and dishonesty and notably increases productivity and safety. Certain industries require employment checks on all employees. Examples include the banking, financial, and security industries, transportation industries, childcare, healthcare, and teaching industries and law enforcement companies. The level of background investigation may vary from industry to industry or position to position. Employers who actively screen their applicants before hiring face less liability in the event of a workplace accident or crime. Pre-employment screening is a primary way of eliminating or minimizing negligent hiring liability. Top   Employee Fraud  An employee fraud is not a new concept or term for India. The annual survey by KPMG (a leading management consultant) has provided many interesting insights to the recent scenario concerning employee frauds. The sample of the survey covered more than 1000 public and private organisations in India. According to the survey, 47 percent of the frauds in the organisations have been done by either the employees or the senior executives with a decision making authority. . Types of frauds: The most common fraud reported by the organisations is the magnified or the inflated expense account by the employees. In these types of fraud, the expenses incurred by the employees are exaggerated and false invoices are submitted to the organisation for re-imbursement. Such frauds account for almost 50 per cent of the total losses incurred by the organisations because of employee frauds.                 Other types of frauds faced by the organisations are: Keeping a secret share of commissions from suppliers for self    Counterfeiting or faking the company cheques   Purchase of goods for personal use on company expense          Manipulating customer's accounts         Using official information for personal benefits    Forging financial statements       Misappropriation of other company resources   Corporate espionage    Frauds related to manipulating and misusing the power to access the confidential information about the customers and the organisation and theft of data were also found to be more common than the rest.                        Dimensions of frauds:    Any or every employee/ executive fraud, has the following magnitude or dimensions:                  The human dimension - There is always a human mind behind every executive fraud. It has been found to be of an internal employee or management in 90 per cent of the cases. Employees use their power and intelligence for corporate espionage.            The technology dimension - Technology has emerged as a very important dimension to the employee frauds. New technologies have given way to unethical practices like hacking etc. On one hand, where the information technology can be effectively used to check frauds, it can and is giving opportunities and assistance to the people in planning and executing frauds.  The legal dimension – The last dimension is the legal dimension that the legal framework and the institutional system regarding the frauds. It also includes organizational practices and policies regarding frauds.                                    Detection of frauds       According to the survey report of KPMG, a majority of the frauds were exposed by internal controls or check measures. Whistle-blowers or, many a times, anonymous notifications received also help to detect frauds. What follows the detection is the investigation by the management of the organisation , a review of the entire situation, followed by actions like firing the concerned employee, formal police investigation, and sometimes – letting the employee resign.               The study by KPMG also sights the fact that most of the Indian organisations are unprepared to detect, handle or deal with fraud. Also, shocking was the fact that as much as 77 per cent of the respondents do not even conduct or has fraud diagnostic review systems in their organisations; nor do 84 per cent of the respondents have a written fraud policy. Assured of their security and internal control systems, 52 percent of the respondents (corporate heads) did not consider frauds as a threat or major problem.                       Scenario in Indian sectors         The percentage of risk from corporate espionage of the information communication and entertainment sectors, and financial sector of India (including all the financial service providers) is as high as 84 and 81 per cent respectively. But the sector which is facing the frequent brunt of the problem is the emerging BPO sector in India. Cases of frauds in BPO sector, employees using the customer's confidential information, manipulation in accounts are getting common. The reasons being quoted for the increasing number of frauds are:              Weakening of society's values,  The growing economic pressures,          More sophisticated technologies to assist criminals         Urbane and intelligent criminals and       Inadequate punishment for those who are caught                       Solutions The first and the foremost solution to the problem are the reference checks and affirming the employee details of the employees before their confirmation in an organisation. To reduce the possibilities of frauds, it is advisable to design and incorporate the fraud diagnostic systems in the organisations creating internal detection systems. Also, regular periodic rotation of the staff can help reduce the possibilities of the employee frauds. As many organisation not being capable of detecting theft & fraud, it is higly advisable to assign the task to some professional detective agency who is able to understand the problem and capable of solving such kind of cases.

 

BEFORE , DURING AND AFTER MARRIAGE IT IS IMP. TO KEEP RECORDS, PHOTOS,VIDEOS, BILLS and witnesses

Alok says:  No one tells you this till it is too late:

 

CLAIM FOR STRIDHAN

'Stridhan' is a traditional concept in Indian Hindu Society which has been derived from two Sanskrit words 'Stri' and 'dhan' which means 'Woman's property'. Usually, stridhan is passed from mother to daughter, unless the woman decides otherwise. Besides the ornaments and trousseau given at marriage, stridhan also includes all the gifts of money, property, jewellery and so on received by the woman before, during and after marriage from her family, her husband's family, friends and even strangers. It includes property inherited by the woman from her family or husband's family; property received by her under a compromise, adverse possession or in lieu of maintenance; property obtained in partition; and property bought using proceeds from stridhan. However, gifts to the husband by the woman or her relatives will not be part of her stridhan.

Protection of Stridhan

A woman's right to her stridhan is protected under law. Section 14 of the Hindu Succession Act, 1956 read with Section 27 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 make a female Hindu an absolute owner of such property. In the case of Pratibha Rani v. Suraj Kumar, 1985 (2) SCC 370 the Supreme Court of India explained the concept of 'Stridhan' and its legal position under the Indian Laws. The Supreme Court of India held that "a Hindu married woman is the absolute owner of her stridhan property and can deal with it in any manner she likes and, even if it is placed in the custody of her husband or her in-laws they would be deemed to be trustees and bound to return the same if and when demanded by her".

It is, therefore, manifest that the position of stridhan of a Hindu married woman's property during coverture is absolutely clear and unambiguous; she is the absolute owner of such property and can deal with it in any manner she likes-she may spend the whole of it or give it away at her own pleasure by gift or will without any reference to her husband. Ordinarily, the husband has no right or interest in it with the sole exception that in times of extreme distress, as in famine, illness or the like, the husband can utilize it but he is morally bound to restore it or its value when he is able to do so. This right is purely personal to the husband and the property so received by him in marriage cannot be proceeded against even in execution of a decree for debt, such being the nature and character of stridhan of a woman.

If her husband or any other member of his family who are in possession of such property, dishonestly misappropriate or refuse to return the same, they may be liable to punishment for the offence of criminal breach of trust under sections 405 and 406 IPC.

Precautions: Women who wish to protect their stridhan rights must take precautionary steps.

• Make a list of the gifts and/or properties received before, during and after marriage from your family, your husband's family, friends and other acquaintances.
• Keep evidence for the gifts received by you such as wedding pictures. Also, ensure that the gifts and their bills are in your name and preserve these bills.
• Have witnesses - statements of witnesses will be important evidence - for gifts of movables (including jewellery) at the time of marriage.

 

 

Anil Kumar Jain vs Maya Jain, 2009 case

Source: Pratibha Rani v. Suraj Kumar, 1985 (2) SCC 370

http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/life/2009/05/08/stories/2009050850070300.htm

This decision of the Supreme Court of India has been followed by various High Courts of India in the subsequent years, namely, Raginiben Gunvantsinh Tank v. Gunvantlal Keshavlal Tank And Ors. [2003 (3) G.L.R. 2027], Reema Aggarwal v. Anupam [2004 Cri LJ 892] and many others

How To Find Detective For Matrimonial Investigation - By: Sanjay Singh

 

How To Find Detective For Matrimonial Investigation - By: Sanjay Singh

Marriage is a risky proposition. Many people tend to have lots of apprehensions before taking the plunge into this gamble. In the view of growing instances of infidelity and extra marital affairs, more and more people are now open to the idea of taking the services of a professional detective in order to undertake a matrimonial investigation primarily to get a reality check.

Pre-Marriage Investigation

In the view of increasing deceits and fraudulent practices, many people are resorting to conduct a private investigation on their "��would be"�� spouse in order to be sure of the credibility of the person they are about to get married to. Marriage is a decision of life time which can transform an individual"��s life for better or worse. This is the primary reason that many matrimonial agencies and online wedding sites are increasingly incorporating investigation services for their clients. Various checks like personal background, family history, and social standing are some of the important considerations that are extremely influential in arriving at a decision. Criminal records, if any, are also checked and verified in order to make people fully aware thereby enabling them to make an informed decision. If people are uncomfortable in seeking these services through matrimonial agencies, they can always approach professional private detectives in order to maintain the secrecy and confidentiality of such investigations.

Post-Marriage Investigation

Infidelity and extra marital affairs are serious issues that can jeopardize and ruin a marriage forever. Many couples often possess several insecurities because of which the fear of adultery is always there at the back of their minds. In order to find answers to their fears, many people have started taking the services of professional detectives in order to make their spouse go through a loyalty test. Infidelity is one of the primary reasons for many broken homes and traumatic marriage experiences. In order to bring the reality of a marriage to the surface, people are increasingly resorting to detective services in order to mitigate their fears or confirm them for that matter. Various private detectives and professional agencies are actively working to bring some relief to such people.

Where to Find Matrimonial Detectives

1) Various matrimonial agencies have started providing investigation services in order to make people aware about the person they are about to get married. This saves them lot of efforts in looking for professional investigation services.

2) Newspapers and magazines are some of the most common media through which many agencies tend to advertise themselves. People can personally approach such agencies to understand the nature of services and various investigative proceedings undertaken by them.

3) In the times of increasing internet exposure, many professional agencies have their online presence via an official website. Such websites usually contain various services provided to the prospective clients.

4) People can even take suggestions from their close friends and relatives who may know about such agencies or private detective services.

Matrimonial investigation is undertaken by large number of people in order to test the loyalty and commitment of their spouse towards the bond of marriage. One of the most effective ways of finding this is through the services of competent detectives who are adept in unfolding the hidden truths and deep embedded secrets.

 

Mr. Sanjay Singh, a professional detectives in Delhi offers corporate, financial and personnel investigation services in India

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Nagpur mental hospital patient returns as a doc

 

Nagpur mental hospital patient returns as a doc

Shishir Arya | TNN

Nagpur: She spent over two harrowing months in a mental hospital grappling with the feeling of having been abandoned and sharing a dormitory with other patients, many of them destitutes. The same hospital is now her workplace.
   For Dr Raksha Shah (name changed), it was a long and different journey
   In her thirties now, Dr Shah has been appointed medical officer at Regional Mental Hospital, Nagpur, after being discharged. The government-run hospital absorbed its own patient as a full-time employee to prove that patients cured of mental illness could be rehabilitated. She is working for six months now and her boss says she is doing fine.
   Every day, Dr Shah examines 60-70 patients in the OPD. Having undergone the trauma herself she understands their plight better. A broken marriage and a series of events had taken her there.
   She had to be treated for a couple of months. At the time, doctors found her intelligent. Her being a qualified medical practitioner led to the idea of accommodating her in the hospital itself. She did her MBBS from Topiwala Medical College and Nair Hospital, Mumbai, before her marriage 13 years ago. Now a confident Dr Shah wants to forget the past. She avoids answering questions about how things went wrong. "A particular situation makes one react like that. I had a fight with someone and my parents thought I needed treatment. I am fine now,'' she says. As she examines the patients, she says, "They can be easily cured if proper medication is taken and the family takes enough care. Their kin should help shed the stigma they carry,'' she says. She now tells her patients not to react to others' behaviour and not to underestimate themselves because of their condition.
   Asked how she felt during the treatment, Shah says, "Nothing much. I could adjust with other patients. Being a doctor I was used to being with people in such conditions.'' She now plans to complete her postgraduation in paediatrics that would allow her to begin practising as a child specialist.
   
Dr Raksha Shah (name changed) underwent therapy at a mental hospital in Nagpur after a broken marriage    

During the treatment, doctors found her to be intelligent and her being an MBBS gave them an idea
   
Shah is back at the hospital after discharge, this time appointed as a medical officer and is doing well

Top exercises for good sex

Sex therapies, Viagra or energy pills, yoga classes etc ... you may have tried countless ways to boost your sexual performance.

What not try routine exercises that can add spark to your sex life? Several studies have shown that fit adults have a more electrifying sex life than individuals who lead sedentary lifestyle.

Exercise not only piques sexual desire, but also makes sex more enjoyable. It enhances sexual functioning and increases testosterone levels in both men and women, which ensures a better sex life. We bring you a few simple (s)exercises that will not only enhance your performance in bed but also let you enjoy the act like never before.

Pelvic lifts : One of the most common and important exercises, it improves sexual performance by strengthening the pelvic area. It also helps in evoking powerful sexual feelings and enhancing your endurance. Vijaya Shetty, a clinical pathologist and a gym-ball trainer elucidates, "During any floor exercise, we train the core muscles and when a same thing is repeated again, it strengthens the body part being worked upon. As for sexual benefit, it's a fact that a strong body can sustain for long, so more the endurance of your pelvic muscles, the more you'll enjoy the prolonged act."

Technique : Lie on your back with your knees bent and slightly apart, feet flat on the floor and arms at your side. Inhale clenching in your stomach and hips and lift the pelvic from the floor until your back is straight. Hold this position for 10 seconds and exhale as you lower your body. Repeat this at least 4-5 times for desired results.

Another pelvic raise could be where you lie down on the bed and as you inhale, you raise your legs to a 90 degree angle. Then while exhaling, you pulse them towards the ceiling. For those, who can't take their legs up to this angle, they can just make an L-shape angle and push their legs upwards along with a proper breathing technique, thus making the abdomen and pelvic area very strong.

Kegel Exercise : Many might not know about the 'secret' muscles that are active during sex and by strengthening these, couples can enjoy intense sex. Kegels are very safe and simple and work on the entire pelvic floor area. Neesha Bukht Choksy, fitness trainer and a dietician confirms, "Kegel is basically a contraction of the internal muscles attached to the pelvic bones, so it tightens the vaginal muscles, helping women gain better control, prolong sex and reach orgasm more easily. It tightens the entrance of the uterus, which evidently enhances your gratification level during sex."

Technique : Contract your pelvic muscles and inhale as you squeeze (as though stopping urine), hold them for 5 seconds and release as you exhale. Start with just 10 or 20 squeezes. The best part is that you can do Kegel nearly anytime, anywhere. Try them while having your meals, sitting at your desk, talking to people or watching television, do at least 100-200 squeezes a day. It's very effective for women in their post delivery stage, as it tightens the loosened muscles."

Butterfly Stretch : Another important part that works actively during sex is the inner thigh area. During a butterfly stretch, the emphasis is on strengthening the inner thighs to make them flexible. Vijaya explains, "Apart from greater flexibility, as you stretch out your legs during this exercise, it's almost a similar position that you have during a sexual act."

Technique : Sit on the floor with your feet together, as the souls touch each other and the knees are kept apart. Try and take your feet as close as you can to your hips and use your elbow to push down your knees below, so that your inner thighs are under pressure.

Cat Pose : In addition to the lower area of the body, the abs and abdomen are also highly functional during sex. Cat Pose works well for the abs as throughout the exercise, you flex your abs. Neesha adds, "As you round your spine in both an inward and outward position during this exercise, you strengthen your abs a lot many times. Simultaneously, it also works on your back."

Technique : Lie down on the floor, arch your back with your head and abs dangling down (inward position), pull your abs inside to make them look nicely arched, and ensure that your belly is not hanging loose. Then reverse the pose by rounding the other way with your abs elevated and stretched out (outward position. In both the positions, you are on your fours (hands and feet) and the abs area is flexed.

Superman Pose : A gratifying sexual act needs a fit body and the lower back forms an essential area that needs to be stable. The Superman Pose works mainly on your lower back, as this is the most active body part for maintaining various postures. Vijaya explains, "As you are holding all fours (hands and feet) going against gravity, the full load to maintain the position makes the back muscles strong. If you're lower back has any problem, you'll frequently shift around to other side to be comfortable, so this exercise helps a lot and lets you enjoy more."

Technique : Lie down on the floor, place your hands in an upfront position, and raise the upper portion of the body as much as you can without putting any strain on any of the muscles. You can also raise your feet, so that only central part of your body is on the floor. It strengthens your lower back area.

Cardiovascular Workouts : Since sex is an act of endurance, improving cardiovascular fitness with exercises like walking, running, cycling or swimming helps both partners perform longer. Neesha states, "Cardio exercises help in improving blood circulation and works on the overall body muscles. For, women who stay dormant at home, these cardio exercises are really helpful, as it activates the entire body muscles. Cardio workouts also keep the heart and arteries healthy, thus reducing the risk of erectile dysfunction by ensuring a good flow of blood to the genital organs."

Technique : Anything such as running, cycling, jogging and swimming that ups your heartbeat rate is useful. Practice the cardio workouts for at least 30 minutes in a day. Apart from ensuring proper blood circulation to all body parts, it also tends to warm up your body. Factors like age, ailments, breathing rate and clinical history must be considered before practicing any cardiovascular exercise.

Regular Combo workouts : To have a satisfying sex experience, the body in totality needs to be fit. Hence, once can't ignore the benefits to be derived from routine exercises like crunches combined with push-ups and sit-ups. These not only help in a better physical appearance, but help in achieving better endurance. Neesha says, "The combo of these three regular exercises is really helpful, as it works on your shoulders, chest and abdominal area, all of which are active during sexual intercourse. By strengthening these muscles, you add to your stamina, which further adds to prolonged and more pleasurable sex."

Technique : Crunches in particular works on the upper and lower abdominal area by tightening them and adding more strength. Do at least 3 sets of 10 each for crunches. Push-ups and sit-ups are more relevant for men, as they need to be strong with their arm muscles. Do at least 4 sets of 10 each for sit-ups and push-ups, taking a little break between the two workouts.

Read more: Top exercises for good sex - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3784416.cms?prtpage=1#ixzz0zQvKyWMU

why respect your family, neighbours, ..and why go to temple???? cause u dont wont to die as rotten fish near whom no ones come..

 

There r many ( people living in unrealistic world)  who just spend time with TV, movie, friends  who r spiritually in minus and become a psychic case as there mental development stops rather becomes retarded and they r just lustful, funful, career minded but can not remain ethical, trustworthy,faithful,dependable as their character is weak. Even those who visit temple everyday does not mean they r spiritually alive, enlightened. It may be that they r going to temple only as beggar to seek alms ( god give me this or that) , to wash their sins ( they live in fools paradise as they think they can do what they like outside and come inside of temple and god will pardon them. So go to temple to make you strong in character, moral, spirit, ethics etc. and make collection of good Karma's ( but many spend time and money in collection of good shirts or sarees).

And what happens to those who r not so, in detail some other time but I have seen in lodging house run by my grandfather that there were people who came from distant places to Mumbai, made friends for fun and frolic, lived in style and they were so surrounded with glamour that they cut off from family and dependable friends and finally when long sickness, poverty struck them then no friends , relatives visited. They were doing all their potty urine on bed had nothing to eat ( Parveen Bobby, many other celebrities  story is similar) , no one to take care. But occssionally some spiritually alive would come and help from neighbourhood and social workers.And not so spiritually alive who left them in distress came to collect their belonings when they died ( many claimants have cropped up when Parveen Bobby died alone in her flat unnoticed and uncared for long and case is on to claim every penny she left).So one may be surrounded with fans when it is your time ( which is always limited) but being not in  committed relationship the same fans leave you like bird leaves a sinking ship. So for realistic life listen to Tarun sagarji, Vidhyanandji, Osho, and many other good saints like Kabir etc, listen to kadva / bitter friends and live life simple , meaningful and truthfdul. High order but achieveable.

 

 

 

Why go to the Temple???


 

DEAR ALL, MAY GOD BLESS  EACH & EVERYONE, LOVE & BLESSINGS  
 

If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this!
If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it.
If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!  

Why Go To The Temple ?

A 'devotee' wrote a letter to the editor of an indian newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to the Temple . 'I've gone for 30 years now, he wrote, and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 mantras.

But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the Gurus are wasting theirs by giving services at all.

This started a real controversy in the 'Letters to the Editor' column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher: I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals.
 
But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this... They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work.
 
If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to the Temple for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!

When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!

Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment! All right, now that you're done reading, send it on!!! I think everyone should read this!! 'When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,

'God , could you get that for me?!!' 
 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O) M:9324225699

Impotency as divorce ground rises article in todays TOI

Dear Swatiji,

TOI,

Mumbai

 

Namaskar.

 

Thanks for a very informative and useful article . I have some humble suggestions:

1. In such articles also take opinion of sexologists and relationship experts. They can throw light on importance and need for physical relationship and intimacy in marital relationships.
2. Interview some litigants that how it really means in marriage to be without physical relationship.
3. Prepare a nice and useful article for those abt to me married/ marriageable age for things to be considered / weighed before entering a marriage to avoid discord and leading to divorce. Divorce has very bad effect on whole family of both sides but specially girls side. If newspapers can create awareness beforehand on several issues then may be many marriages can be avoided and thus divorce can be also avoided.

Alok Tholiya

9324225699

 
 

 

 

Impotency as divorce ground rises

More Couples Citing Sexual Inability As Quick Way To Get Out Of Marriage

Swati Deshpande | TNN

Mumbai: Is impotency on the rise in Mumbai It may seem so,given the rising number of women filing for divorce on grounds that their marriage was never consummated.
Recently,a doctor couple married for four years approached a city lawyer,seeking divorce.The reason: she said he was impotent;the husband,though,claimed he did not feel attracted to her and hence the lack of sex.
There is a definite increase in the number of cases where woman are seeking a divorce or annulment of marriage on the grounds of its non-consummation.Often,we advice them to settle the case mutually, said advocate and veteran womens activist Flavia Agnes.Another lawyer said that at times other reasons are inserted into divorce applications since proving impotency can prove tough.
Young couples barely ten months into their married life are basing their split on grounds of impotency.Recently,a newly married woman was sent back from the US by her husband who wanted to end the marriage.He was just not interest in doing it,she said.
Does that mean the capacity to perform sex constitutes the core of a matrimonial relationship Matrimonial law says it does.According to legal provisions,the physical and mental capacity to consummate a marriage is an essential condition for its validity.
Under the Hindu Marriage Law,impotency is a ground for annulling a marriage.Even under Special Marriage Act,which applies to inter-faith marriages,mere wilful refusal on part of either spouse to have sexual intercourse is reason enough for annulment.
An annulment for non-consummation has to be necessarily within a year from the date of marriage.Lack of sexual contact extending beyond a year has to be cited as mental cruelty,which is a ground for divorce,but cannot make the marriage void.
Divorce lawyer Mrinalini Deshmukh said that,though annulment applications have gone up in Mumbai,at times impotency is used as an excuse by the couple since it is the quickest way out of an unwanted marriage.Just last week,she said,three annulment applications had been filed by women married for less than two months.
Another reason,Agnes said,impotency is often being used in divorce courts is because men are just not attracted to their wives or some times their sexual preferences are different.The recent favourable judgment on consensual same-sex couples is making couples talk more openly about their preferences and they want to end their forced heterosexual relationships, Agnes said.
But while impotency is a ground to end marriage,proving it is a tall order.According to law,impotency may arise on account of a physical defect or mental condition.It says the condition should be should be incurable and the allegation has to be strictly proved.