My reply to divorce seeker ...

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/details.asp?mod_id=75863&offset=0#.UTALwKKw2So

Hi, in Brief; my family and me are victim of 498a &  DV act, i applied for divorce the wife did not appear in  family court and the divorce was rejected.  I appealed in  High court and she appeared  after i paid legal charges as per direction from court.  The court dismissed my petition ordering " the respondent  shall with draw all the criminal cases against the  husband and join him the parent and brothers of the  respondant shall not interfior in the marital life' Now they  have with drawn DV act and trying to withdraw 498a and  join me back, I dont want to take her back and need a divorce without appealing to Supreme court. Please advise me.:( Sarvana Shekar She has done rethinking and reviewing. Forget past for a moment and review. Is she really that bad or it is ur hatred? Is it possible to get a 2nd wife who will  be better then her?Think as 3 rd person if she was  wrong in filing the said cases? Be honest by keeping a  hand on head of  ur dearest family person. If I have  really abused my wife, taunted her for not getting  enough , or similar incidences by my family then my  heart will say she has legal right to go against me in  court and that is the only thing a law abiding citizens  can do. Why break law so any one goes against  us to court??All married couples have fight and sooner  or later they bury the hatchets. And at later age  they realise that togatherness is a bliss and singlehood,  second partner may not be as as good as was thought.  There r several ways to improve her and to make her  compitiable. We have to put in efforts to improve our  staff, children etc like wise we have to seriously work  on improving our partner and so also ourselves.  I pray to god ( which I do not as a daily ritual )  from my heart for you and wish that you rebuild your falling  home by  putting in efforts . Any family member from your side thrying to bulldoz your home needs correction. Yours is the first mail which I saw this morning and there  is no better way to worship god then helping save a  married life of some one and my sincere appeal to give a pause, review , things are not that bad . repair  and rnew relat
	ions.

Erectile Dysfunction May Signal Heart Disease

Erectile Dysfunction May Signal Heart Disease

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WebMD News from HealthDay

TUESDAY, Jan. 29 (HealthDay News) -- Doctors should look more closely at the overall health of impotent men, a large new study suggests.

Men with even mild erectile dysfunction -- but no known heart problems -- face a major extra risk of developing cardiovascular conditions in the future. And as erectile dysfunction becomes more pronounced, signs of hidden heart disease and earlier death risk grow.

Not surprisingly, men already known to have a heart condition along with severe erectile dysfunction fare worst of all, the Australian researchers found.
Among men aged 45 and up without diagnosed heart disease, those with moderate or severe erectile dysfunction were up to 50 percent more likely to be hospitalized for heart problems, according to an adjusted analysis. Erectile dysfunction boosted the risk for hospitalization even more when men had a history of cardiovascular disease.
Erectile problems, which become more likely as men grow older, aren't a guarantee of heart problems. Still, men with erectile dysfunction should "take action by seeing a health professional and asking for a heart check," said study lead author Dr. Emily Banks. "Men with erectile dysfunction need to be assessed for their future risk of cardiovascular disease, and any identified risk must be managed appropriately."
Banks is a professor of epidemiology at the Australian National University's National Center for Epidemiology and Population Health.
Banks said an estimated 60 percent of men aged 70 and up suffer from moderate to severe erectile dysfunction. The condition can place major limits on sexual activity and require the use of drugs like Viagra that can come with side effects and awkward challenges when it comes to the timing of doses.
A variety of causes can contribute to impotence, but "it is widely acknowledged that erectile dysfunction is predominantly the result of underlying cardiovascular disease," Banks said.
Doctors already believe that erectile dysfunction is an early warning sign of heart problems, but it's not clear why. It's possible, Banks said, that the arteries of the penis are smaller than those of other parts of the body and may be more likely to reveal problems when their lining deteriorates.
The new study aims to gain more insight into how the severity of erectile dysfunction translates into a higher risk of cardiovascular disease. The researchers tracked more than 95,000 men aged 45 and up, and compared data collected between 2006 and 2009 to data collected in 2010.

The researchers adjusted their statistics so they wouldn't be thrown off by factors like high or low numbers of men who smoked or drank alcohol, or were wealthy or poor. They found that the men with severe erectile dysfunction, compared to those with no problem, were eight times more likely to have heart failure, 60 percent more likely to have heart disease and almost twice as likely to die of any cause.

What does this mean in the big picture?

"Heart problems are very common, so even a relatively moderate increase in risk translates into quite a number of affected individuals," Banks said. "Among men with no past history of cardiovascular disease, an estimated six per 1,000 men per year who did not have erectile dysfunction went on to be admitted to the hospital for coronary heart disease. This compares with eight per 1,000 men per year with moderate erectile dysfunction and nine per 1,000 men per year among those with severe erectile dysfunction."

Also, she said, "among men with a past history of cardiovascular disease, an estimated 20 per 1,000 men per year of those without erectile dysfunction went on to be admitted to the hospital for coronary artery disease. This compares with 28 per 1,000 men per year with moderate erectile dysfunction and 34 per 1,000 men per year with severe erectile dysfunction."
Could drugs for erectile dysfunction, such as Viagra, actually help men with undiagnosed heart problems? Maybe.
"Medications to treat erectile dysfunction have proven benefits in treating [lung] hypertension and are being evaluated as a treatment for heart failure," said Dr. Gregg Fonarow, a professor of cardiology at the University of California, Los Angeles. "However, there are no proven benefits for reducing the risk of heart attack or stroke."
Fonarow agreed with the study's conclusion that men with erectile dysfunction should get their hearts checked, especially since cardiovascular disease can have no symptoms.
The study authors said, however, that more research is needed before the presence of erectile dysfunction can be considered a clinical predictor of heart disease risk.
The study appears in the January issue of the journal PLoS Medicine.
More information
For more about erectile dysfunction, try the U.S. National Library of Medicine.

Is money ruining your marriage?

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Is-money-ruining-your-marriage/articleshow/18016233.cms

Is money ruining your marriage?

By Nairita Mukherjee, TNN | Jan 30, 2013, 12.00 AM IST

Arguments over finances can hamper any marriage. However, a little joint planning is all you need to put them to rest 

There comes a time in every marriage when financial issues cause disagreements. This unnecessary problem can be caused due to inadequate emergency funds, different spending styles, individual debts (student loans, for instance) or investments. Money management is by far the trickiest thing one has to master in a marriage. But like any other problem looming over your relationship, this too can be solved with a little precision and effort. 

For software developer Aditya Deshmukh, 36, who has been married to Pooja, 31, for the past five years, discussing finances with honesty and transparency is the key to a healthy start. Although he earns enough to support the family, Pooja insisted on keeping her job till it was time to plan a family. Now, Pooja is on a sabbatical while Aditya is bringing home the bacon. 

Says Aditya, "We were clear about what each of us wanted, so there was no room for confusion. Perhaps, that's why it was easier to chalk out a plan for the future." Here are a few money rules for couples. 

Put everything in the clear 

A woman may want to take a break to raise a family, or a man may have to support his financially-dependent parents. Whatever your future plans or liabilities are, being open about your intentions is the first step to a healthy beginning. Says relationship counsellor Seema Hingoranny, "Discuss your plans with each other, so that neither of you is in the dark when it comes to taking a monetary decision." 

Make an income expenditure chart 

Now that you both know your future plans, proceed towards drafting a monthly budget.Common bills like house rent and other amenities need to be taken care of jointly. 

List down your income against the common expenditure. Be stringent and thrifty, but make sure all plausible expenses are listed. In case neither of you is too good with such calculations, ask an older family member or seek professional help to frame your budget. Eventually, you will be able to do it yourself. 

Have a joint savings account for bills 

Instead of having a joint account where both of you deposit your entire salaries every month, have one where you pitch in for common expenses only. This account will strictly be for bill payments and not for future savings. Pitch in a fixed percentage of your income according to your salaries. This way, the person who earns less is not burdened with having to contribute extra. 

Emergency fund 

Keep a separate account as an emergency fund. Contribute a pre-decided percentage of your salary towards it, just as you did for your bill payment account. As a rule, neither of you will spend from this account without the other's consent, and only towards medical or other emergencies. 

Save for yourself 

There is no harm in having a separate fund. After all, you are earning for yourself as much as for your family. Always set aside a percentage of your salary for yourself. It will give you a sense of security and the freedom to invest it, save it or splurge on something without affecting the overall family budget. 

Ensure you are transparent about every rupee you spend 

You must inform your spouse about whatever you've spent money on, whether you've spent it on a shopping spree or on a new mutual fund investment. Even if it's your own money, you have to be transparent about your purchases. Being secretive about finances may plant the dreaded seed of suspicion in your partner's mind. Just make sure you are not putting the family budget in jeopardy. 

The 3 Ds 

Discuss finance like an adult; don't crib over it. Be flexible with your money and, remember, both of you need to compromise on a certain level to reach a mutually-agreed adjustment. Demand an explanation if you see an aberrant expense. Alternately, offer an explanation for your expenditures also. It's not demeaning, it's just more interactive. Dismiss the past and let go of whatever financial discrepancies you may have had. Don't bring it up in every argument; it may hurt someone's feelings.

Mistakes we make in relations

How funny v r :
We ignore who wants us.
Want those who ignore us.
Love those who hurt us and hurt those who love us.
Still we thing we are a successful in relations! Think about it ........Its true....

HOLDING HANDS IN CRITICAL TIMES

RELATIONSHIP BLOSSOMS BY TIGHTLY HOLDING HANDS IN CRITICAL TIMES AND NOT BY SHAKING HANDS IN GOOD TIMES!

It’s True: Frequent Sex is Good for Health of Sex

It’s True: Frequent Sex is Healthy Sex

Why the “use it or lose it” approach does your relationship -- and your body -- good.

WebMD Magazine - Feature

Reviewed by Kimball Johnson, MD

Q: My husband says we should have sex even if we don’t feel like it because it’s "use it or lose it." Is there any truth to this?

A: Although male sexuality is very different from female sexuality, it turns out that for both sexes "use it or lose it" is indeed TRUE.

On average, men get three to five erections per night in addition to erections that result from sexual activity. Dr. Ajay Nehra, a professor of urology at the Mayo College of Medicine, says erections are important for penile muscle health because they bring much-needed oxygen to the penis. This helps maintain the health of the nerves -- making sex a healthy habit.

One recent Finnish study showed that men who had sex once a week were half as likely to develop erectile dysfunction as men who had sex less frequently. In women, more frequent sex also stimulates circulation to the genitals. In turn, this enhances lubrication and the elasticity of vaginal tissues -- both of which go a long way toward boosting a woman’s enjoyment of sex.

Some researchers believe there’s a psychological component as well. You may stop wanting sex if you go a long time without it.  This is partially because ”turning off" helps you avoid feelings of sexual frustration. Having more frequent sex can actually keep you interested in sex.

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/sex-use-it-or-lose-it?ecd=wnl_sxr_012613&ctr=wnl-sxr-012613_ld-stry_1&mb=37dz9PaVSpmjqdfYp%40TOnuHnVev1imbCkGiMegP%2f4k0%3d

Fight Fairly and Keep the Peace in Your Relationship

Fight Fairly and Keep the Peace in Your Relationship

7 dispute diffusers and tips for improving the way you argue.

• Go to bed angry. Several therapists and couples say forget that adage about always resolving anger before turning in -- and let someone sleep on the couch. "We've found that going to bed angry is often the best choice," says Lisa Earle McLeod, author and a 23-year marriage veteran. "It allows partners to clear their thoughts, get some sleep, and make a date to resume the fight (which might seem less important in the light of day)."
• Take a break. Even a 30-second break can help a couple push the reset button on a fight, licensed clinical counselor Timothy Warneka says. "Stop, step out of the room, and reconnect when everyone's a little calmer."
• Own up to your part of the fight. Melody Brooke, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says two things derail intense fights: admitting what you did to get your partner ticked off and expressing empathy toward your partner. Brooke, author of The Blame Game, says this can be difficult but is typically extremely successful. "Letting down our defenses in the heat of battle seems counterintuitive, but it is actually very effective with couples."
• Find the humor. Pamela Bodley and her husband have been married 23 years, "and Lord knows it [wasn't] easy in the early years," she says. "But it's much, much better now. We have a great sense of humor." Her husband Paul has kept the mood light by always saying he knows women keep skillets in their purse. So when he does something wrong, Bodley says, "I just pretend to hit him over the head with a skillet and say, 'TING!'"
• Shut up and touch. Brooke says there's a point where discussing the matter doesn't help. So couples need to just hold each other when nothing else seems to be working. "Reconnecting through touch is very important."
• Ban the "but." Jane Straus, author of Enough is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life, says couples often derail a resolution when they acknowledge the other partner's position and then add a "but" in their next breath, reaffirming their own. An example: "I can understand why you didn't pick up the dishes in the family room, but why do you think I'm the maid?"
• Remember what's important. "We soon realized that we don't have two beings in a marriage," Jacqueline Freeman says. "We actually have three: me, my husband, and the marriage. And we have to take good care of all three. So if we've been arguing about whose fault it is that the house is so messy, I might defend myself saying I was busy working on a project that will bring in more income, and he might say he was busy fixing something on the house that was broken. We used to be able to carry on a conversation like this for quite some time. But over the years, we seem to have developed a 15-minute timer for arguing. [Then] one of us will suddenly remember the key question: What's best for the marriage?"

Therapists also say that it's important to realize that no marriage is perfect and that fighting is often part of the ebb and flow of compromise.

I have come to realize that we are not normal," Robbins says. "But as they say, 'Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine.'"