The 5 Worst Things About Testosterone
Testosterone is the hormone responsible for keeping us men manly. It gives us our muscles, our sex drives and our boners. Women are attracted to guys with more of it, which makes it sound great — but you can have too much of a good thing. Here are five reasons why testosterone is way overrated.
1. Body Hair
Tom Selleck used to show off his hairy chest like it was a giant badge of honor. Well, guess what? You are not Tom Selleck and it isn’t the 1980s. Testosterone plays a huge part in determining how much extra fuzz you have all over the flabby skin sack you call your body – even if your head is losing it over time, your body hair just keeps coming strong. Invest in a big comb or a very durable razor.
2. Oversize Muscles
Testosterone is the reason men can put on muscle fast, helping you assert dominance over guys not as interested in beefing up. But one look at the ’roided-out freaks in the gym should steer you away from juicing — we don’t know any women who have a thing for throbbing forehead veins.
3. Risky Decisions
A study from the University of Cambridge found that the higher your testosterone, the more likely you are to take idiotic financial risks and put all your money on the line. This probably explains the 2008 Wall Street crash, and also why guys tend to leave Vegas with empty wallets.
4. A Deep, Menacing Voice
A man shouldn’t sound like a member of the Vienna Boys Choir, but you also don’t want to scare people when you speak. Guess what, Barry White? That deep voice you have is because of testosterone. Remember when you hit puberty and your voice sounded like a dying cat before it eventually settled at some lower octave? Yeah, we all do. Suck on some helium and relive the good old days.
5. Rage
Guys get mad. Testosterone seems to make it worse. It’s scary how a chemical produced by our bodies can make us lose control and punch holes in walls. Maybe yoga is the answer and learning to breathe and say “Namaste” over and over again will keep you out of jail this time. Try to fight the urge to always start swinging. Talk it out for once, sheesh.
Photo Credit: Ed Schipul/Flickr
No comments:
Post a Comment