A divorce can be one of the most damaging and disastrous episode in a woman's life. Besides the emotional trauma of separation there are various other practical day-to-day stresses that a woman may have to deal with. She will have to learn to handle life alone, reorganizing her daily life, dealing with the loss of a relationship and the social pressure to establish a new identity for herself among her friends, colleagues and peers.
All this can take an immense toll on her and can be very stressful.
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Divorce and stress Marriage is one of the most magnificent of all relationships. We all have the need to be loved, to feel secure and have a sense of belonging. When this dream gets shattered by divorce, it can cause untold misery. Divorce can sometimes be the least expected event in your life and can throw you off guard.
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The trauma of divorce is not the same with all women. Some women learnto cope well, while for a few others divorce can have catastrophicimplications in their personal, professional and social lives.
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Here are some of the most common behavioral changes that you may experience as a divorcee:
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- feel like crying all the time,
- withdrawal from social activities,
- fatigue,
- substance abuse like alcohol or drugs,
- sleeplessness,
- depression,
- feelings of guilt,
- anxiety about the future,
- irritability,
- fear and
- mood swings
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| If such behavior persists, it is advisable to consult a marriage therapist. |
Taking control of your life
Although it is easier said than done, taking charge of your life can help you beat the stress caused by divorce. |
| You may have to pull yourself together many times, before you master the art of being at peace with yourself. | | | Sources of stress | | Household tasks. | | Financial and social security. | | Responsibility of raising a child alone. | | Separation from the husband. | | Lack of proper family life. | | | | |
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- Learn to relax: Listen to melodious music, visit a peaceful and serene location or indulge in activities that will keep you preoccupied such as writing or painting. Meditation can also help in relaxing your body and mind.
- Stop blaming yourself: Just as they say, "Honking will not make the traffic disappear", blaming yourself time and again will not make the pent up stress in you disappear. You just have to learn to respect another person's right to have different opinions. The blame game will not help.
- Entertain yourself: Visit friends and relatives. Play your favorite game or go to the movies. This will keep your mind distracted and lessen your worry time.
- Seek help: Do not be afraid or hesitant to talk about your personal problems. Choose your most trusted friend or relative to give vent to your feelings. You can also seek support from a professional counselor or therapist if your feel your negative emotions are affecting your daily life.
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Adjusting to divorce Although individuals are different, most women need two or three years to adjust to the changes separation and divorce bring. Some women may need additional time. However dealing with divorce requires three basic steps: |
- Accepting the divorce: It is more than difficult to do this, but the sooner you start accepting that your marriage is over, the better it will be for you to forgive, forget and move on in life.
- Establishing personal and parental roles: You may have a child to bring up. But besides this, remember that you have personal needs that require fulfillment. Balancing your personal needs and parental needs can help you attain an identity for you as an independent individual and as a single mother.
- Looking ahead to the future: Make it a point to move on. You have to leave your past behind because your future is calling you. One relationship may have been over. But most certainly, there can be other
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Finally... Dealing with separation and divorce is not easy. You may be overwhelmed with the situation and may find it very difficult to adjust to the many changes and stress that divorce delivers to your life. But believe in yourself because nothing is actually lost until hope is lost.
What is important is not how you dealt with your past, but what plans you have for the future. So move ahead because despite the uncertainties and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. So be cheerful because tomorrow will be a better day. |
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