Alok's advise to person seeking divorce....

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/details.asp?mod_id=49025&offset=1

Dear All,

                   I got married in the year 2008. My wife was working in abroad before we got married. She took a 2 year break from her job.

A bit of history before the current status.

My wife and I had decided that I would try to join her abroad on the condition that I get a good enough job there which would be equal to the kind I do here in terms of function and remuneration.

After marriage, my wife who was born and brought up in India and had been working abroad for 4 years found the going tough in my house in an A class metro. She found fault with a lot of stuff and we ended up arguing for everything.

I bought a house after we got married which involved me going for a loan. ofcourse this mean that we could not move into the new house rightaway since the house had to be done up in terms of Painting, furnishing, electrical work etc, but I was saving up for this every month, and I could not move to another place in the same city on rent since it would entail me to pay rent and moving into my new house will have to be put off till much later. So I asked her to have patience. This led to a lot of fights and name calling, her talking to people among her family and friends. I could not get a job which would let me move abroad to her working country with confidence, finaly 2 years later she moved back to her old job, much against my wishes, since I was trying for a job in different city. In the mean time I found a new job in a different city (A class Metro). We have not been in touch apart from the occassional ISD phone call. Now she is back to India and living in her mothers house. We have not yet met but have spoken a couple of times on the phone in an attempt to reconcile, but all efforts seem to be going nowhere. I have many times broached the subject of ending the marriage but it seems to have any effect on her.

I am my wifes second husband, she was married once before. Ours was an arranged marriage, I knew she was divorced however I thought that it was something that could go wrong with anyone, so it is not that I was tricked. My family was pretty broadminded to happily agree to a girl who was divorced and whose mother was divorced too, we thought that both the women did not find the right man.

Now she insists on not ending this marriage and shows no inclination to continuing together, everytime we talk, we keep going round in circles, she creates the impression that it is I who wants this marriage to end and she is trying everything in her power to keep this going, but everytime she says that this marriage will work only if her needs are met, which I am skeptical about since I know what her demands are, and she has little or no patience to wait for things to be done.

Now, unknown to me she has joined a masters course in her workplace abroad where she will be returning in about a months time.

Considering that we have been away for more than a year now and will be away for another year in the future and that it is close to three years since we are married of which I have spent 1 year separated from her, since he moved out (She gives various reasons)

BTW, No dowry or anything was taken during the marriage. I have been insisting that she collect all her jewellery from my house as it becomes risky as I have to take of her belongings which is an additional responsibility.

Anyway, at the end of all this, could you please advise me if it will be possible for me to get a divorce citing that she has ben away for 1 year now. She has a well paying job abroad which she has been doing before she was married. Do I have to pay her alimony?

Can you please advise on the possibility of this and the steps to be taken and the process involved.

Thanks

K

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1. My reply is based on premise that u r telling the truth.
2. If u do not want to save ur marriage then I hv nothinh to say but if u want to improve then...
3. Marriage is a life time event and law is for those who really need it. Since there is a law u should not make use of it unless u find no hope / grater risk in not using the law. 
4. Be away for topic of ur wife for a month. Then analyse is she really bad. Is there no hope?
5. If after a month u feel u want to continue then : 
6. Take help of a good marriage counselor with a request to help save ur marrieg.Pl. note two erring parteners can only further spoil things by arguments. In such a situation never attempt urself or thru some unskilled person and specially biased person. Reconcilliation is possible only / blessings). when proffessional person with holyistic heart works on it . ( Let me know if u need such aperson). ( It is imp to tell here that I do not charge / take cut for my all these work and just need dua 
7. Do not aggravate situation from ur side. 
8. Be nice and courteous to all specially in laws. 
9. Do not paint bad picture of ur spouse so ohers put fuel to fire and further spoil the already damaged relations.
10. Do not object to her studies. Pl. note for some it is a passion which is more imp. then anything else in life but that will be over in time to come.
11. Keep communication open.
12. If god will's then in a yr or two she will change. And there after she too will value relationship and institution of marriage. 

If not then same forum and same options r open.