Can small mental disoder be a ground for divorce???

Dear Captain,
Pl. give me reference where u found info that pharmas claim that they can cure all mental illness.

I have not read such a thing.

Besides in psychological issues environment and counseling also plays great role. If environment does not change then there will be little improvement and so also in most cases counseling has to be combined.

Some mental health disorders can really be controlled and others have to be suppressed and some may be a life time issue.

Like in all other fields there are no one answer and one parameter. 

In this particular case OCD is not a very serious disorder ( I am going on below text) and hence I don't think divorce is rightly desired. There r no man or women perfect and on small disorder , ailments no divorce should be given. It is only grave situation like
murderous,nymphomania,etc etc ( playing with life, property )
should a divoce be given.

Alok 

--- In karmayog@yahoogroups.com, captainjohann wrote:
>
> Dear All,
> � � �the biggest lie of all is exposed here. CURED � and TREATED �are two different things is known to every Psychiatrist
> but they have to repeat this lie that " MENTAL ILLNESS IS CURABLE" Infact �the Multi national drug companies have a say in this lie. �They want to creat a myth that all mental illness are curable provided enough funding and enough psychiatrists are available and enough pills are available for pop ups.. Tell them a time frame to cure which may extend to lifelong to 20 years!!!!!
> � � Severe OCD can be dreadful and the welfare of child should have some priority while respecting the rights of
> the ill lady. The husband has shown patience and tolerance for ten years and he wants to move ahead.
> �
> "Greatness lies not in never falling but in rising everytime we fall"
> Captain Johann samuhanand,� BANGALORE� INDIA
> 91 80� 42023252���
> www.captainjohann.blogspot.com
> �
>
>
>
> >________________________________
> >From: anirudh kala
> >To: Vaishnavi Jayakumar
> >Cc: MHA digest ;
> >Sent: Monday, 29 August 2011 5:49 PM
> >Subject: Re: [MhaReformIndia:472] Wife's illness leads man to seek divorce
> >
> >The courts normally do not consider diagnostic label alone while
> >deciding such cases; the nature, extent� of the disability in a
> >particular case is considered more important.
> >Some years back in a similar case, the Supreme Court had pithily
> >observed," Schizophrenia is what schizophrenia does"
> >
> >Anirudh Kala
> >
> >
> >Prof.A.K.Kala,
> >Clinical Director,
> >North India Psychiatry Centre,
> >95-A,Model Gram,
> >Ludhiana.141002
> >
> >Phone 91-161-2772410,2773309,
> >
> >www.psychiatristindia.com
> >
> >
> >
> >On Mon, Aug 29, 2011 at 4:05 PM, Vaishnavi Jayakumar
> > wrote:
> >> Hetal Vyas
> >>
> >> 29 Aug 2011
> >>
> >> BANGALORE�: Prema is a well-educated woman, married to Raghu, an executive
> >> with a multinational company in Bangalore. The couple tied the knot in 1997
> >> and has an 11-year-old daughter. Those who don't know Prema will find her
> >> healthy and happy. But her husband and daughter have experiences otherwise.
> >> Raghu has moved the family court seeking divorce from Prema saying she's
> >> suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), a mental illness or a
> >> psychiatric disorder.
> >>
> >> Raghu, in his plea, has contended that in the initial years of marriage he
> >> noticed that Prema had a habit of doing certain things repetitively. "She
> >> will either keep washing her hands or repeatedly check if the main door is
> >> closed. I used to ignore it, but her behaviour became more obsessive after
> >> our daughter was born in 2000. Once she started going to school, Prema used
> >> to doubt if she really goes to school or not; she does her homework or not.
> >> She used to punish the child for petty reasons," states Raghu.
> >>
> >> But can OCD be a ground for seeking divorce? A family court in Bangalore has
> >> raised this pertinent question. Last week, when Raghu's petition came up for
> >> hearing, the judge posed some questions: "Is this illness incurable? Show
> >> how will it affect your matrimonial prospects?"
> >>
> >> The court also questioned if a person suffering from OCD can live a normal
> >> life. "What if her illness is cured after divorce is granted?" asked the
> >> judge.
> >>
> >> Raghu's lawyer argued: "He waited for two years after finding out that she
> >> is suffering from OCD. She hasn't shown any improvement to treatment for
> >> over ten years now. Even the child is getting affected because of the
> >> mother's behaviour."
> >>
> >> The plea, which was filed in 2001, said Prema's symptoms aggravated from
> >> 2000, after the birth of their daughter. She was treated in two Bangalore
> >> hospitals and also one in the United Kingdom but hasn't shown any
> >> improvement. She is now staying with her parents in Kerala and is under
> >> treatment.
> >>
> >> Prema's lawyer countered that his client is responding to treatment and the
> >> illness is curable. "Just because a mother is giving some minor punishment
> >> to the child, can she be called mentally ill? Or can it be a ground to seek
> >> divorce?" he asked.
> >>
> >> EXPERT OPINION
> >>
> >> Sheila Aneesh, president of All-India Federation of Women Lawyers, said:
> >> "The law generally says that some incurable disease can be a ground for
> >> divorce. But the case should be supported by medical reports which say that
> >> the disorder or the illness is incurable in nature. There are chances that
> >> certain illnesses which are incurable today can be cured tomorrow with the
> >> help of advanced medical facilities. The judgment in a case should be passed
> >> on the present status of the case and not on its future prospects."
> >>
> >> DOCTOR'S DICTATE
> >>
> >> B N Gangadhar, professor of psychiatry, National Institute of Mental Health
> >> and Neurosciences ( Nimhans), had this to say: "Diagnosis cannot answer all
> >> questions. A good proportion of these patients show much improvement and we
> >> say they are cured." He explained that in a similar proportion, response to
> >> treatment would be satisfactory thus enabling a person to perform most of
> >> the essential roles. "However a small proportion would be disabled even
> >> after considerable treatment and the disability of performing matrimonial
> >> duties can vary from case to case," he added.
> >>
> >> MERIT OF THE CASE
> >>
> >> A family court,while hearing the case last week, asked if obsessive
> >> compulsive disorder could be a ground for seeking divorce. "Is this illness
> >> incurable? Show how will it affect your matrimonial prospects? What if her
> >> illness is cured after divorce is granted?" asked the judge.
> >>
> >> http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bangalore/Wifes-illness-leads-man-to-seek-divorce/articleshow/9777329.cms
>

INSTALLING HUSBAND 1.0 !!!

 This seems to be a worldwide problem !! INSTALLING HUSBAND!!! A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1, Football 6.2,Table Tennis 3.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?




------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Reply ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DEAR Madam, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 Howeverlife, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crashHusband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0and Good Looks 7.7. Good Luck Madam!

My reply to : Can impotency be grounds of divorce if accepted by man " thread at Lawyersclubindia.com

A new reply has been added to "Re:Re Can impotency be grounds of divorce if accepted by man " thread at Lawyersclubindia.com

---------------------------------------------
I can appreciate understanding of my collegues on this topic of forum as none of us have had s*x education.
A small child too gets a erction. While in sleep most youth get erections specially in the wee hours. Even many get it with a little excitement , watching a movie with explicit scene, such talk , etc etc get erection. THe best of the way without test is to find that one gets erections while in sleep.
Some individuals may be temporarily not getting it for various reasons like during or after sickness etc etc.
But If one is not getting erections at all that means he has to rush for a investigations and only after getting cured ( which 90% ) will he should marry.
Physical relationship in married life is a very important need and if u can not  for ever meet is then u must avoid marrying or atleast be honest at the time of proposals. You can give annonymous advert in paper that u desire a partner but who can be happy without physical relations. But u cant deceive a lady and his family on this and keep her frustrated.
And there r some rare cases where person gets erections but is a 'gay" so he does not get erection when before a lady or gets only when he thinks or is with another male. And in such situation family does not understand his mental conditions and choice and forces him to be married and have a wife.That too is wrong. It is difficult rather very very difficult to change behaviour of such a person.
So basically no parents and samaj ( community) should force a man or women to marry if they are not very willing to get married. I have seen when parents forced  for a marriage then on the day of golden night many have committed even sucide. Why ??? One of the reason can be impotency, besides being gay, or having relation with another girl.
I am not saying that u must falsely say u r impotent but if u r than find to get treated and only if noy possible at all then go for papaverine injections  or Penile Implant etc.. But for these extra measuers u will have to take ur wife in to confidence and both will need to under go counselling. It will be her choice to agree to unnatural ercetins or not.   Read more : http://depts.washington.edu/uroweb/diseases_and_conditions-7-Erectile_Dysfunction.php



 

Sex After Prostate Surgery And New Techniques To Improve It‏

• [CSEPI] Sex After Prostate Surgery And New Techniques To Improve It‏

22-08-2011

 Dr A Jhawar Sexologist

• 
  
• 
  

To CSEPI@yahoogroups.com

Sex After Prostate Surgery And New Techniques To Improve It

Dr. David Samadi, Vice Chairman, Department of Urology, and Chief of Robotics and Minimally Invasive Surgery at The Mount Sinai Medical Center knows the wide range of emotions and fears that men with prostate cancer face. As a robotic prostatectomy and prostate cancer treatment expert, Dr. Samadi cares for the total patient, helping them deal with all aspects of treatment, recovery and cure. Robotic prostatectomy procedures, performed to remove the prostate gland and all surrounding cancer, can provide very good cancer cure results, though many men fear the potential side effects of the surgery. Top on their list of concerns: will they be able to have and enjoy sex after prostate cancer treatment?

Dr. Samadi understands this concern. "For most men, sexual function is every bit as important as eliminating prostate cancer. But many of their fears about sex after surgery are carry-overs from what they know of older open and laparoscopic prostatectomy techniques. Thanks to robotic surgery, these fears can be greatly reduced." Historically, the prostate gland was removed through invasive abdominal surgery during which surgeons had a very difficult time sparing the tiny nerve bundles responsible for erectile and sexual function. Often, a man's ability to have sex after surgery was negatively impacted. Today, with the advent of robotic surgery techniques, experienced surgeons like Dr. Samadi have an enhanced view of the prostate gland, allowing increased precision and dexterity. As a result, the risk of damage to the nerves vital to sexual function is significantly diminished.

When treating his prostate cancer patients, Dr. Samadi employs a start-to-finish approach, including an individualized evaluation of sexual function prior to surgery and on-going, post-surgical assessments of options to aid in the return of sexual function. "I consider robotic surgery successful when the cancer is cured and the patient has full continence and potency. All three criteria must be met for me to consider the surgery a success." Dr. Samadi dubs this whole-patient approach, "The Treatment Trifecta."

Dr. Samadi customizes robotic surgery with his own SMART (Samadi Modified Advanced Robotic Technique) method. Using the da Vinci Surgical System, the commonly recommended treatment for localized prostate cancer, Dr. Samadi is able to perform highly precise movements at the surgical site: cancerous tissue is cleanly removed and critical nerves are spared. By not opening the surrounding fascia around the prostate and not suturing the dorsal vein complex, Dr. Samadi has improved the quality of men's post operative sex life. Ultimately, this leads to faster recovery and an improved outlook for regaining sexual function and urinary continence.

"Men want to know they can return to a normal life when this is all over. They want the cancer gone and they want to move on and enjoy sex the way they always have," says Dr. Samadi. While the resumption of sexual potency can take up to 12 months or more, Dr. Samadi assures patients that this is within the normal course of recovery. His comprehensive approach to prostate cancer treatment and sexual wellbeing continues beyond surgery. "It's not uncommon for men to experience some ED immediately following prostatectomy procedures, but this is not an indication of their long-term sexual potency. I continue to work with patients to achieve the complete results they desire."

Source: Smart Surgery

Dr. Anand Jhawar
M.B.,B.S.,D.C.H. (Bombay)
CONSULTING SEXOLOGIST
Fellow : Council of Sex Education & Parenthood International (CSEPI)
Life Member : Indian Association of Sex Educators, Counsellors & Therapists (IASECT)
Life Member : Indian Andropause Society
Honorary Consultant : Family Planning Association of India (FPAI) - Mumbai Branch
JHAWAR HOSPITAL,
F-6, B-2, RAINBOW APARTMENTS
SECTOR- 10,
VASHI,
NAVI MUMBAI - 400703.
MOBILE : 9969132682
E-MAIL : dr_ajhawar@hotmail.com

My reply to imptent husband.......Alok

sanjeev001 executive [ Scorecard : 52] Thank the Contributor Send PM	Dear sir,                  can anyone pls guide me on this topic. i am mentally harrassed by my wife, and wish to seek divorce in any possible way, ours is a 4 month old marriage. we have not yet had any physical relationship due to daily quarrels. hence i am ready to accept anything for seeking a divorce. hence if the girl claims that i am impotent and that is why i am not keeping physical relationship with her, then can it be a ground for a divorce. as i am willing to accept this accusation, as i want to end this relationship in any manner possible. please help Share

22 August 2011, 22:18
niranjan civil practice [ Scorecard : 3648] Thank the Contributor Send PM	Yes.

23 August 2011, 06:33

Alok Tholiya self employed [edit] [edit photo] [ Scorecard : 142]

If u r impotent then u and ur family knew it before marriage. And yet u have ruined her life. A simple remedy of divorce is not the way out. U must openly admit the cheeating to her and apologise or a action on similar ground must follow from her. But 90% cases of impotency r cureable. U have to see best available Urologists, s*xologist ( well qualified MD / MS and above. Have u done that?? U can easily search for them on net. Other easy sources are visit KEM hospital, visit Dr Rupin Shah ,Santacruz West or any large hospital Urology or Andrology dept. If u want further free guidance then write back.

communications, plans, goals have to be clear to ur team..

Many business owners have this complaint that their employees waste a lot of time and they are not able to get 100% out of their people. They say "Somehow, they don't have the vision as big as my vision. They are completely clueless about their work and I have to guide them about each and every thing. How to get them fully involved?"

A small story from daily life, but very much relevant, illustrates the solution of this business problem clearly....

Kalindi was a manager with a company. She was visited by one of her old friends, Shama at her home. Both friends were chatting up and the topic was Kalindi's work team. She was leading a team of five executives and was somehow finding it difficult to get things done through them. "They just don't understand the bigger picture. They waste a lot of time. They disappoint me everyday. Because of their inefficiency, I miss many of my deadlines and I can't achieve my departmental goals. It is so frustrating...! How can I get them involved 100%?" This was her concern.

Kalindi had a visiting cook and a full-time maid servant at home. During the above talk, Kalindi inquired with her cook to ask her about the stock of vegetables at home. The cook checked the fridge and told her what was there. Kalindi sent her back and called for the maid. She instructed the maid  "Please to go to the market and bring Shimla Mirch, Tomatoes, Mushrooms and Pizza bases.". The maid bought the things and gave it to the cook. The cook understood that she had to prepare Pizza, but found that there was no cheese at home. She went to Kalindi to inform this. Kalindi got angry, "Why you did not tell me earlier?". The cook also got upset, as she never knew about Pizza plan. Then Kalindi sent the maid again to the market buy cheese. The maid also grumbled because she had to go all over again to the market.

Shama understood the entire problem, both at Kalindi's office and also at home. She told Kalindi "Did your cook know you wanted to make Pizza? Then how can you expect her to give you specific requirements? Similarly, do your team members know what your goals are? If they do not, and you keep assigning them daily tasks and when they don't find you to guide them, they just wait and waste time. No wonder, you miss deadlines and all are frustrated in the end." Kalindi got the solution to her problem.

Ask yourself. Do your employees know what are your goals? What is your vision? If not, you may have to make pizza without cheese, which won't be very appetizing...!

Tell your people what you all are trying to do. Simple, but very practical. Implement it.

" I want to die": .....NEED YOUR GUIDANCE......

Respected Harishji,

Namasker. 

I m just not competent enough to advise / comment.But can share some of my experiences.

1. A girl was just not willing to  go to school on Thursdays. Other days she was too willing. Luckily we cud narrow down on Thursday and approached school if there is something differant then usual. Teachers said that on Thursdays there is a music class and only two girls have taken that. We had no hesitation in saying that there is some thing wrong happening in that music class as otherwise this girl was too keen on music too. Finally after investigations it was found that the music teacher was trying something un writable here.School removed that teacher and the girl secured first class thru out and further became very good dance and music artist.

2. There was a boy who was very much against going to school while was very interested in learning at home. First thing I tried to find was how was the school he was going to. He was going to one sherry's academy. People in neighborhood said  one advocate started it to keep his wife occupied but she is not taking interest. And finally she has kept two girls from near by slums who r very crude and harsh. He was shifted to Basent Montessari and then Arya Vidya Mandir and did well and even if he was running fever he wanted not to miss his school.

3. one day as I was going that way I wanted to drop my child to school on way. He refused. Child  insisted in going to school in bus. Later on one day I queried child without creating any reservations and child said innocently Khan uncle ( bus owner and driver) puts on filmi songs in bus, he takes us some time to garden etc etc. I had to approach school on this and Principal was aghast to hear that children being taken to garden unauthorizedly. The necessary steps were taken.

4. My son did not want to go on a picnic at any cost.He was refusing to go with full force. School was unable to understand and normally they make it compulsory so were bent upon taking him. I can't pressurize anyone without trying to understand him / her and without preparing him/ her for worst possible/ educating. So when he finally confided that there is a robust Punjabi boy doing all sorts of harassment, pushing, snatching away his food etc etc.. I had to prepare him that world is full of such people and u have to learn to avoid them and at times challenge them. Then when I went to drop him at railway station I specifically asked amongst boys who is this xyz boy and when he was pin pointed I just shook hands with him but he realized there is some reason he was selected for intro. Then I quietly briefed the teacher abt this boy and the reason why my son was reluctant to go to picnic. Since that day there was never a problem. 
So I feel most children have differant issues then elders. So we have to ensure that they confide with us. May be girl has some one in house, neighborhood,school, school bus, servant, uncle, etc etc.. who is doing some thing unbearable to her. May be parents r doing something which she hats too much and finds unbearable. And now in new environment things have changed for better and she is happy.

So if there is reason to believe the parents then definitely she is in better hands and thus feels cool. But if the parents are lying or are ignorant then ....????  But sir, I appreciate your concern for this little girl inspite of being so busy u r thinking of her. Actually even I feel concerned abt her but the limitations r limitations. However request her parents to bring her to u once when she is here on festival holidays and keep one session with her and clear doubt.

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya

---

To: member_cai@yahoogroups.com
From: nabonita@gmail.com
Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2011 12:35:48 +0530
Subject: Re: [member_cai] " I want to die": .....NEED YOUR GUIDANCE......

 

dear sir...i think you have done what you and your team could do wit
regard to the child...maybe she is really happy after your
intervention,maybe her parents dont want you to interfere more or
maybe its something else...the point is that our job as therapists is
to empower our clients and not make them dependant..the child is young
but her parents also need to be responsible for her wellbeing more
than anybody else...i am sure the child will come back to you when
needs to as your team must have given her the relief...but i dont
think contacting her school is ideal as it breaches confidentiality
completely...i have seen a lot of suicidal clients myself and as long
as the primary caregivers know and are aware of her tendencies i think
it works...we do our best as therapists but we to also have
limitations.

On 8/7/11, Harish Shetty <harish139@yahoo.com> wrote:
> " I want to die": .....NEED YOUR GUIDANCE......URGENTLY
>
>
> " I want to die" shared this 13 year old girl a couple of months ago. The
> thoughts have been disturbing her since a few months. She had crying spells
> , problems in sleeping , poor concentration and fall in grades since then.
> Her medical parameters were normal. Her suicidal thoughts were  mild to
> moderate and  apparently her parents are reasonably conservative and would
> not allow her to meet her friends late in the night. Her family had two
> close biological members who suffered depressive bouts.The family had been
> fairly democratic and indulgent in other ways and parenting philosophies
> were very grounded. Her school was cool without any triggers or hassles for
> this bout of depression.She is impulsive, stubborn but reasonably adjusted.
>
> Some months back the family had taken a decision to send this child to a
> boarding school with the consent and desire of the child. Her close friend
> in her class had also decided the same. This bout of depression upset the
> cart. She was put on antidepressants by me and therapy through a clinical
> psychologist. We felt that the child would be safer here with her parents
> and treatment. The psychologist also had a joint meeting with the present
> principal of her school with the child and the kid relented to stay back.
> She attended her present school for a few days only. Suddenly she began
> insisting that she wants to join the boarding school. All requests and
> counseling was in vain. Her mother agreed with us but her father was
> inclined to go by the girls decision. The decision about the boarding school
> was driven by the child before the onset of depression.
>
> Without our consent her father dropped her to the hostel school. They shared
> the fact with the warden+ the new principal that the child was on
> medications and this was continued. They did not share the fact that the
> child had expressed suicidal thoughts.
>
> We are very worried.
>
> Today after 5 weeks I  spoke to the mother on my own initiative. According
> to the mother the child is reasonably cheerful and has not complained about
> any sadness or pain. I was relieved but many questions cross my mind.
>
> Here we have a child diagnosed to be depressed and suicidal living in a
> hostel without counseling support. At the same time she according to the
> mother is cheerful and has no complaints.
>
> What do you think we should do and how do we proceed ?
>
> anxiously,
>
> Harish Shetty

__._,_.___