It’s True: Frequent Sex is Good for Health of Sex

It’s True: Frequent Sex is Healthy Sex

Why the “use it or lose it” approach does your relationship -- and your body -- good.

WebMD Magazine - Feature

Reviewed by Kimball Johnson, MD

Q: My husband says we should have sex even if we don’t feel like it because it’s "use it or lose it." Is there any truth to this?

A: Although male sexuality is very different from female sexuality, it turns out that for both sexes "use it or lose it" is indeed TRUE.

On average, men get three to five erections per night in addition to erections that result from sexual activity. Dr. Ajay Nehra, a professor of urology at the Mayo College of Medicine, says erections are important for penile muscle health because they bring much-needed oxygen to the penis. This helps maintain the health of the nerves -- making sex a healthy habit.

One recent Finnish study showed that men who had sex once a week were half as likely to develop erectile dysfunction as men who had sex less frequently. In women, more frequent sex also stimulates circulation to the genitals. In turn, this enhances lubrication and the elasticity of vaginal tissues -- both of which go a long way toward boosting a woman’s enjoyment of sex.

Some researchers believe there’s a psychological component as well. You may stop wanting sex if you go a long time without it.  This is partially because ”turning off" helps you avoid feelings of sexual frustration. Having more frequent sex can actually keep you interested in sex.

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/sex-use-it-or-lose-it?ecd=wnl_sxr_012613&ctr=wnl-sxr-012613_ld-stry_1&mb=37dz9PaVSpmjqdfYp%40TOnuHnVev1imbCkGiMegP%2f4k0%3d

Fight Fairly and Keep the Peace in Your Relationship

Fight Fairly and Keep the Peace in Your Relationship

7 dispute diffusers and tips for improving the way you argue.

• Go to bed angry. Several therapists and couples say forget that adage about always resolving anger before turning in -- and let someone sleep on the couch. "We've found that going to bed angry is often the best choice," says Lisa Earle McLeod, author and a 23-year marriage veteran. "It allows partners to clear their thoughts, get some sleep, and make a date to resume the fight (which might seem less important in the light of day)."
• Take a break. Even a 30-second break can help a couple push the reset button on a fight, licensed clinical counselor Timothy Warneka says. "Stop, step out of the room, and reconnect when everyone's a little calmer."
• Own up to your part of the fight. Melody Brooke, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says two things derail intense fights: admitting what you did to get your partner ticked off and expressing empathy toward your partner. Brooke, author of The Blame Game, says this can be difficult but is typically extremely successful. "Letting down our defenses in the heat of battle seems counterintuitive, but it is actually very effective with couples."
• Find the humor. Pamela Bodley and her husband have been married 23 years, "and Lord knows it [wasn't] easy in the early years," she says. "But it's much, much better now. We have a great sense of humor." Her husband Paul has kept the mood light by always saying he knows women keep skillets in their purse. So when he does something wrong, Bodley says, "I just pretend to hit him over the head with a skillet and say, 'TING!'"
• Shut up and touch. Brooke says there's a point where discussing the matter doesn't help. So couples need to just hold each other when nothing else seems to be working. "Reconnecting through touch is very important."
• Ban the "but." Jane Straus, author of Enough is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life, says couples often derail a resolution when they acknowledge the other partner's position and then add a "but" in their next breath, reaffirming their own. An example: "I can understand why you didn't pick up the dishes in the family room, but why do you think I'm the maid?"
• Remember what's important. "We soon realized that we don't have two beings in a marriage," Jacqueline Freeman says. "We actually have three: me, my husband, and the marriage. And we have to take good care of all three. So if we've been arguing about whose fault it is that the house is so messy, I might defend myself saying I was busy working on a project that will bring in more income, and he might say he was busy fixing something on the house that was broken. We used to be able to carry on a conversation like this for quite some time. But over the years, we seem to have developed a 15-minute timer for arguing. [Then] one of us will suddenly remember the key question: What's best for the marriage?"

Therapists also say that it's important to realize that no marriage is perfect and that fighting is often part of the ebb and flow of compromise.

I have come to realize that we are not normal," Robbins says. "But as they say, 'Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine.'"

Erectile Dysfunction Health Center

Tools & Resources

Sex and Romance: Working Together to Relight the Fire

If you’re experiencing erection problems, you’re probably not alone. Your spouse or partner is also affected. Fortunately, there’s plenty both of you can do to overcome ED and enjoy better and more intimate sex.

Get a Checkup

The first step when you begin to notice persistent problems getting an erection is to make an appointment to see your doctor. Erectile dysfunction is a vascular disease (a blood vessel problem) and often is associated with other vascular diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure, or heart disease.
The ability to develop and maintain an erection depends on healthy blood vessels. When arteries become clogged with cholesterol or damaged by high blood pressure, blood flow into the penis can be impaired.
Men over 55 with erectile dysfunction have a 50% greater risk of developing heart disease than men without erection problems. Younger men with erection problems have an even higher risk of heart disease.

Tweak Your Diet

Smarter food choices can help reduce risk factors linked to erection problems, including high blood pressure and elevated cholesterol. As with many conditions, when more risk factors are present, they increase the risk of the disease.
The basic advice may be familiar, but many men still don’t follow it:

• Eat more fruits and vegetables – 5 to 9 servings a day.
• Consume less salt  by eating less processed food, which is often high in sodium.
• Eat more sources of lean protein.
• Cut back on red meat.
• Choose low-fat or non-fat dairy products.
• If weight is a problem, gradually trim your portion sizes.

Making changes in the way you eat isn’t easy, of course. When a couple makes healthy changes together, they improve the chances of success.

Lose a Few Pounds

Being overweight gets in the way of good sex in many ways. It can make a man feel less than sexy. And let’s face it, your partner may not find that beer belly so appealing either.
Obesity is also associated with lower than normal testosterone levels in men, which can cause a loss of sex drive. Consuming fewer calories by eating less and burning more calories by increasing physical activity are effective ways to lose weight.

Move It

Regular physical activity not only helps maintain a healthy weight, it also improves the function of heart and blood vessels. That, in turn, could help improve the quality of your erection. Some studies have indicated that men who exercise regularly have a reduced risk of erectile dysfunction. In addition, the more fit you are, the more energy you’re likely to have for sex. Finding activities to do with your partner can help strengthen your relationship and enhance your sense of intimacy.

 http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/guide/sex-romance-working-together-relight-fire?ecd=wnl_sxr_121512&ctr=wnl-sxr-121512_promo_3&mb=37dz9PaVSpmjqdfYp@TOnuHnVev1imbCkGiMegP/4k0=

she will take care of u and ur family whole life with loads of love.

Posted a day ago
Hi friends, i have a problem facing with my wife (20 years old)  and from father, She has illness called lupus active, arthrities, and some mental issues (psycological treatment is on going), details married on feb 2011,no children, and after 6months she was diagnoised with the disease, thereafter she started therating that she will commit sucid, and now her father also supporting her, she cant bear if someone speaks to me, even my mother also, due to her argument my father loss his controll on bp and last his breath in sleep that night. and there after her father started to take the small issues like, If i say to work. another important issue is she cant be preagnent while on treatment and it may last for another 2-3 years, and she is not interested with any of protections to take care by me, so i try to keep her away on unsafe days but she forces me to have intercourse, which may harm her health severly, if i say that to her father they say its my mistake. Some time she kept her hand in electric water heater and her hand burnt, one day she kept her hand in boiling oil and taken immediatly to hospital, after losing my father my mother staying with me (i am only child in home) , now they dont want any one in my home including my mother (how can i), she sms me that she needs to die,while she or me away from home (my mistake is i not stored such sms). i ruined my carrer for her by leaving my loving job,  on all these mental issues i need a protection from her,and her family can any one suggest me the procedure to go on, if they know now this they may file harrasment case on me and my mother, I need a serious help on this ground Kindly ask me for further information to move on Share on google_plusone
V R SHROFF Sr. ADVOCATE Bombay High Court Mob: 9892432152 [ Scorecard : 15494] PRO CHAT CALL Click to call for free 1 2 3 4 5 Thank Contributor : Send PM	Posted about 21 hours ago
	You shd hv protected your job first. take her to psychiatic, get cert ify, then do needful
Alok Tholiya self employed [ Scorecard : 607] [edit] [edit photo]	Posted about a minute ago
	U hv not mentioned details of lupus active. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2724676/ Artheritisis not at all harmful, does not hv any side effects. It does not give one mental disorder.There r ppl who lived happily for decades with artheritis. 60% of male/ female want regulat s*x atleast at below 40 years of age. If on eis not getting then one is bound to get mentally disturbed.Choice before you: Get her counseling done by renowned doctor of her choice if medically she is supposed to not to have s*x. Even I do not trust your story, nither her father nor she herself. go to qualified s*xologist who can educate you for having satisfactory s*x. Go to good marriage counselor for improving trust  and with it relationship. Get good spiritual books, magazines, good friends and relatives, good yoga or similar spiritual activities like Brhmakumari to calm her down and increase both of yours bearing capacity, good time pass, change etc.. If u neglect and she commits sucide in 7 yers of marriage then u had it. If u divorce and u hv to run to courts , pay for DV, 498A, maintenance etc then too u had it. But if u live with her lovingly, take care of her, give her good time and s*x then she will take care of u and ur family whole life with loads of love. Alok Tholiya read: menow@yahoogroups.com http://menwomenrelationship.blogspot.in/ http://beautifulwe.blogspot.in/

my reply to : how save from being declared criminal?

Discussion > Criminal Law > Dowry > Is there any way to save indian husband from being criminal?
	Is there any way to save Indian Husband from being criminal? From 498a, DP ACT 3,4 and DV ACt. From 498a and DV I believe not possible. From DP ACT 3,4 I believe it is possible if take help of some lawyer. I want to know this because in my second innings I do not want trap in all these false cases. Share on google_plusone Posted about 4 hours ago Your lucky dude.... Your a MAN... and MAN does not have any protection rights... PS: As a matter of fact even animals have protection rights.. Posted about 4 hours ago Your lucky dude.... Your a MAN... and MAN does not have any protection rights... PS: As a matter of fact even animals have protection rights.. Posted less than a minute ago Reply from Alok Tholiya Check u r physically fit to satisfy spiritually fit to bear tantrums smilingly financially fit to meet present days expectations parents do not and will not give ur truthful biodata in advance with expectations, renouncing dowery take photos and videos during marriage  that u did not ask / accept dowery have long premarriage time so both of u know each other and their family make good rapport with some of her friends and relatives so they understand you and side with you In case of need see marriage counselors In case of need see qualified s*xologists In case of need use detective eye

for deep bonding ....

 For deep bonding between spouses a  spirituality or good old memories or physical intimacy are must. Testosterone helps in good physical intimacy....And where all 3 exists (rare) then it gives birth to havenful of life....Alok

 

How Low Testosterone Affects Health, Mood, and Sex

Low Testosterone and Sex Drive

Testosterone isn't the only fuel for a man's sex drive and performance. But low testosterone can reduce your ability to have satisfying sex. Lack of sex drive and erectile dysfunction are sexual problems that can result from low testosterone. If low testosterone is the cause, treating it can help.

Testosterone and the Causes of Low Libido

Researchers haven't unraveled the mystery of just how testosterone increases libido. It's normal for a man's sex drive to slowly decline from its peak in his teens and 20s, but libido varies widely between men. What one man might consider a low sex drive, another might not. Also, sex drive changes within each man over time and is affected by stress, sleep, and opportunities for sex. For these reasons, defining what's a "normal" sex drive is next to impossible. Usually, the man himself identifies a lack of sex drive as a problem. Other times, his partner may consider it to be an issue.
Low testosterone symptoms don't always include feeling like you have no sex drive. Some men maintain sexual desire at relatively low testosterone levels. For other men, libido may lag even with normal testosterone levels. Low testosterone is one of the possible causes of low libido, however. If testosterone is lowered far enough, virtually all men will experience some decline in sex drive.
In a large study of men in Massachusetts, about 11% overall said they had a lack of sex drive. The researchers then tested all the men's testosterone levels. About 28% of men with low testosterone had low libido. These men were relatively young, with an average age of 47; older men might have worse sexual symptoms.
Low testosterone is only one of the causes of low libido. Stress, sleep deprivation, depression, and chronic medical illnesses can also sap a man's sex drive.

Low Testosterone and Erectile Dysfunction

Surprisingly, low testosterone by itself rarely causes erectile dysfunction, or ED. Low testosterone alone -- with no other health problems -- accounts for a small minority of men with erectile dysfunction.
Erection problems are usually caused by atherosclerosis -- hardening of the arteries. If damaged, the tiny blood vessels supplying the penis can no longer dilate to bring in the strong flow needed for a firm erection. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol are the three main causes of atherosclerosis and erectile dysfunction.
At the same time, low testosterone is a frequent accomplice to atherosclerosis in creating erectile dysfunction. In studies, as many as one in three men mentioning ED to their doctor have low testosterone. Experts believe that in men with other factors causing erectile dysfunction, low testosterone can strongly contribute, making a difficult situation even worse.
Strengthening the connection, low testosterone is linked in some way with many of the conditions that lead to erectile dysfunction:

• Metabolic syndrome
• Obesity
• Endothelial dysfunction
• Diabetes

Although low testosterone isn't known to cause them, the associations between other medical conditions and low testosterone can be significant.
Testosterone therapy improves sex drive and satisfaction with sex in many men. However, the long-term risks and benefits of testosterone replacement are unknown. Research trials on testosterone replacement in men are ongoing, although results are years away.

WebMD Medical Reference

View Article Sources

Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD on June 12, 2012

© 2012 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

And that is why one requires a good marriage relationship counselor

It is tragedy that we go to specialist for even smallest of smallest issues even if it is a harmless pimple. But when it comes to relationships we become our own specialist, or listen those who  are leaning on our side, are biased, inexperienced to handle their own issues.

In  damaged marriage relationship there r many issues:

1. It affects our and families reputation ( but if same is declared  irreparable like cancer of third stage by a renowned specialist then you have to go for surgery/ break the relations) 
2. It affects both psychologically
3. It affects their career
4. It affects psychologically their children
5. When sick, old or in distress then except spouse no one has time for you.
6. Financial  it can cost heavily
7. going out alone in parties and function is a big challenge
8. Many rituals one can't perform alone or it looks awkward

and so on...............so do not try to resolve your own issues but give a try to your relationship and let expert relationship/ marriage counselors work on it or let only they decide the fate. You must try second opinion if needed. Go to only qualified well known and thru personal reference and pay for their services too.
Also take written opinion and reasons for such opinion in writing. Dr Nathawat without hearing fully, without knowing full facts, without making detailed investigations just advised for divorce thru a crooked lawyer sitting in a false women organisation in Chembur. Dr Nathawat gave verdict in a one sitting even after charging heavily. So one must be cautious in dealing and relying on consultants and go for more opinions as these are life time issues and steps can not be on abrupt advises.
Normal surgeon is dealing with one person but a relationship counselor has to work on two families , so his responsible attitude, human nature ( as if dealing with his own daughter) , holistic approach, patience, persistence etc is required.Do not relay on a quack who sends you to operations theater in no time without thorough investigations,assistance of able  team , and lot of time.
Same is for clients. Have faith, have patience, keep open mind, be ready of many sessions, be ready for several psychological  tests, and even whole family may have to go for counseling to save a marriage.

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya,

Marigold Hall,Tholiya Bhavan,

10Th Rd., Santacruz East,

Mumbai 400055

9324225699 

http://bitterjain.blogspot.in/2012/11/gandhigiri-morcha-to-vakola-police.html

• Pl. fwd./ circulate this mail if you think the issues raised here needs wider audience.

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Let us handover to our future generation a better place to live in.

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